This is not going to be popular. It is a good thing I’m not running for office, because if I was, I would lose the vote.
Because, I see it, and I read it, and it makes me squirm.
People glamorizing their mental illness. I see it mostly in young adults and artists, especially writers.
Let me set the record straight from my point of view. Mental illness is not glamorous. It doesn’t make you wildly creative (in fact, I was a successful and budding poet in my twenties and now I can’t write a poem half as good as I could before my first psychotic break). I was so much more creative before I ever had a diagnosis. The difference is stunning.
Medication and psychosis rob something from you. They are thieves that steal parts and pieces of your personality, talents, and skills. I remember being on a medication for a couple of years where I couldn’t read. Not at all. Not a single book. I couldn’t focus. Even though my medication now is what I would consider fantastic, I still haven’t completely regained the absolute love of reading most of my family shares. I have to force myself to read in order to get better at writing. Plus, once into it, there is nothing like a good poem or story. But getting into it is difficult.
I think young people like to play around with the idea of being on the dark side, misfits, edgy, all in black or all tattooed and just plain different. Those young people love to toy with the idea of being mentally ill. They write dark poetry. They produce dark art. Fine, okay, I hope you grow out of it, and most likely you will.
There is a fascination in this country with the truly dark history of mental illness. People like to look at pictures and visit the old abandoned asylums that exist across this county. People imagine they are haunted with the souls who endured all kinds of bizarre treatments that were popular in the past – lobotomies, insulin therapy, water therapy, straightjackets, etc.
There is the fascination and there is the romantic. I remember years ago, when I was first diagnosed as bipolar (I have since been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia), I studied and read about every famous person who was ever considered bipolar. I wanted to be a genius. I wanted to be hyper-creative and brilliant. That is such fantasy. It really is. The majority of people with a mental illness are not brilliant. I don’t think anyone’s mental illness helped them achieve anything, imagine the famous people with a mental illness and what they may have been capable of achieving if they were not ill. That is a reality to ponder.
I don’t mean to be depressing. I don’t mean to burst anyone’s bubble, but I do mean to be serious. Mental illness kills people. It destroys perfectly productive lives. Those of us that manage to thrive regardless of our diagnosis, do so with our teeth clenched. We do it by fighting every single day. We fight to stay healthy. We fight to stay sane. We seek treatment, we work with our doctors, and we learn ways to manage debilitating symptoms.
I have met many people who had a parent that was mentally ill. None of those people think mental illness is cool, romantic, glamorous, or makes you hip or cool. All of them suffered as children, because their parents were mentally ill. (The people I am talking about are all middle aged now, so there were much fewer options for treatment for their parents). But this truth still holds: mental illness can damage relationships.
If you read something from an artist and they are manic, or depressed or delusional, don’t get sucked in by their ability to convince you that staying up all night creating new music, or painting, or writing a novel in six weeks is the way to go. It’s not.
Staying centered and living simply is the way to be. Study any religion or great philosophy and they will teach you that peace is what to strive for. Mental illness can rob people of the chance at peace. Don’t let anyone fool you, it is a tough road and even covered with lots of red lipstick and high heels, it will never be glamorous.
Thank you so much for writing about this subject…well said.
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It is a topic that makes me so uncomfortable and angry. I’ve been wanting to write about it for a long time, but I didn’t have the guts.
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Very well said! Having a mental illness sucks! I too have a very hard time concentrating. I can’t read a full book cover to cover like I used to and it takes me a long time to even write a blog post. I wrote my two books before I was hit so hard with psychosis. It sucks and there’s nothing wonderful about any kind of mental illness. I can say this from my own point of view and the fact that I care for 3 people in my home that have been diagnosed with different mental illnesses and it’s hell for everyone to go through. It’s not glamours, even for the writers who say so. It’s just easier to put on a pretty face and fake then it is to actually tell the truth. Kudos to you! You did an excellent job!
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Thank you! I love that someone with experience (you) actually agrees with me. It is no game, as we both know. Thanks for your comment and support.
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You’re very welcome!
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Really relating to your blog posts here. Especially this one, reminds me of an ex boyfriend who suffers bipolar. Very interesting post.
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I’ve been reading a lot of your posts when I get the chance.
This one struck a cord with me.
I was a creative teacher/writer/poet/ book reading you name it person until the 90’s. I started getting migraines. Two years of never-ending, screaming, pain, pill popping to relieve the pain then vomiting etc. days after ward and starting over again.
When the head aches started to slow down and I wasn’t getting them as often or as bad, I soon realized that I had lost a good chunk of my brain. I had trouble verbalizing what I wanted to say. I couldn’t come up with the right word for something. An example of this would be: I would call a trash can in the house a dumpster. Or I wouldn’t think of the word at all.
I no longer was able to write and get anything published. I had trouble just writing a letter to my parents.
I had Master’s Degree in English and Elementary Education, yet had trouble substituting. I was lost.
I still get headaches and migraines although I can function with them most of the time.
I suffer depression and have major health issues.
I miss MY MIND THE MOST.
So thank you for writing as you do.
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Sorry for all you have been through. I know how hard it is.
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I know you do. How are you today? Answer only if you want to.
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Sorry, I didn’t answer yesterday. I took a day off from blogging. I’m fine, thank you!
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Thank you Rebecca for this post! I agree,there’s nothing glamorous about mental illness.And yes it can rob you of so much.I have a hard time reading sometimes.And drawing,but i’ll be sending you some artwork pretty soon.
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