Tags
Advocate, bipolar, creative nonfiction, mental health, mental illness, psychiatry, psychology, relationships, schizophrenia, stigma
There are times when I have taken the hard road, the right road, and I can hold on to those times when I slip.
I met Ron at a bar. He was fifteen years older than me, but he was good looking, tall and lean, and wore a big brimmed cowboy hat.
He lived out on ten acres of land outside the city limits. I would drive my car out to his property, park and stay a few days when I wasn’t working.
On one of those days, I brought my medication and put it on top of the refrigerator. Ron said, “What is all that for?”
“I’m bipolar.” I said.
“I can’t handle all of this.” He said and that was the end of it.
I collected my things and drove home.
In a few days a woman called me and introduced herself as Julie. She said she was Ron’s girlfriend before he met me and they were getting back together. I had left some things at Ron’s house and she wanted to return them to me.
We met for coffee.
She was attractive, and I wasn’t feeling jealous, or mean, or anything but a bit of awkwardness.
She handed me a bag that had a pair of socks, a lipstick, and a magazine.
“Thanks.” I said. I didn’t really mean it, because I knew she wasn’t returning these items to be kind, she wanted to meet me to see what I looked like, and acted like, and to give me a message.
She said, “Wow. You must have heard some stories about me. If Ron talked about me the way he talks about you, you must have really heard some shit.”
“Ron didn’t say anything bad about you.” I lied.
“Wow. He sure said some shit about you.”
“Well, he didn’t say anything bad about you.”
“Thank you for returning my things.” I said and got up to leave.
“We are back together, you know.” She said.
“Yes, I heard.” I said and walked out feeling bigger, taller and more together than I had since I’d been dismissed for having a mental illness.
Good bye Ron and for all your mental illness you describe, you are the healthier one than these two in the story. Ron, someone who speaks poorly about everyone he dates and cannot be without a female for a second and his enabler who will remain with a man that badmouths her. Good luck to the both of them, and good for you for packing up and leaving. I suppose should there be a next time she can drop the items in the mail for you, then again the experience made you feel good about yourself and for that I am glad.
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Thank you! Yes, I wasn’t sad to have them out of my life, but having someone reject me so openly, for what we thought at the time was bipolar disorder, was very painful.
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I am sure it was horrifically painful and I hope in time that pain will fade.
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Thank you!
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Wow, what an experience. I was just thinking about how some people are just ready to walk away whenever they hear about a mental illness. I had one guy I dated in college end a date early and take me back to the dorm when I told him about my mom. I love your writing style on this one.
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Thank you! Yes, some people give up the minute they hear the words, mental illness.
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You have spoken volumes in this post. It goes right to the core. Beautiful.
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Thank you.
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Some people just don’t react when it comes to mental illness. It looks like that incident has made you stronger so good for you.
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*know how to react
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The simplicity in the telling has such power. Three now four now five … times I have read this to try and capture all the different strands, and keep finding “just one more time” becomes one more time and something new again.
Wow!! This is a beautiful post. Thank you.
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Thank you! That means a lot.
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Wow it makes you wonder about people and their own insecurities doesn’t it?
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Yes, it really does.
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The best burn is the one where they don’t know they’ve been gotten… good class girlfriend!
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Well he sounds like a right C word and so does she!!! Well done for being so strong 😀
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