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bipolar, christ, christianity, Christmas, church, family, homeless, hope, inspiration, jesus, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, Pastor, poor, psychiatry, psychology, schizophrenia
About ten years ago, I attended the Methodist church in the city where my husband and I were living. It was Christmas time and my parents were visiting from Arizona. The four of us decided to attend the midnight service at the church.
We arrived and the huge altar looked stunning covered in the bright red leaves of poinsettias. The stained glass windows didn’t have the sun shining through, but even the darkness of the night outside couldn’t mask their beauty. The choir, all in white robes, looked angelic, their voices filling the sanctuary.
It was Christmas and I looked forward with anticipation to hear the hope of the sermon and to sing all the carols that I loved as a child.
Christmas always brings back memories of my brothers and I when were kids. During church, my oldest brother, Joel, would tell us, his younger siblings, that the song Noel was really, Joel. So, all four of us kids would sing JOEL at the top of our lungs. After church we were allowed to open one present and then we had to go to bed so Santa could visit. We were poor when I was little, but I never knew that, there were always presents stretching way into the living room. It was magical, it was wonderful, and it was Christmas.
It was with the heart of a child that I went to church that night. We sat in the balcony, because there was no room left below. Before the pastor started the sermon he talked to the congregation about the life of the church community, available Bible studies and upcoming rummage sales. Then he told a joke. It started out with the song bipolar people sing at Christmas (I can’t remember the punch line) and it ended with “Schizophrenics sing, Do you hear what I hear?”
I sat in that balcony in pain and shock. At the time, I still had the diagnosis of Bipolar, and I thought to myself, “If people like me are not allowed in church, where are we allowed? If church isn’t safe, where can we find safety?”
One time a homeless man had come into the church and sat down in a pew. He started talking a little during the sermon, and he was obviously making the congregants nervous. Men from the church immediately went into action and removed him. I thought to myself, “The weak, the sick, the needy, the poor are not welcome here. Jesus doesn’t live here anymore.”
While we were singing Silent Night outside of the church in the court yard, I eyed the pastor. After the song was over, I approached him. “I am bipolar.” I said. If people like me are not welcome in the church, where are we welcome?” He was a very powerful man in the community, and very politically motivated. He said something and then turned away from me.
Not everyone who leads a church, or claims to be Christian, follows Christ. I can assure you that many of them know the teachings of Jesus but deny his words. It was a revelation to me. I’m not always welcome in church, but I know one thing for sure, If I’m not welcome and the homeless are not welcome, neither is the revolutionary that we follow.
I find this really sad. And applaud you for saying what you said, when you did, in the way you did! No one should suffer rejection in the very place offering Love and safety and acceptance. I am glad you wrote this post. Such incidents should not be whitewashed – for then we are all complicit.
Which is why I need to tell you a story of a Methodist minister who was desperate for some help. Specific help in a legally required role – one that no one was volunteering for. I was happy to help. He thought it was the “wrong job” for me – it did not use my “gifts”. I will always remember the phrase he used as he finished that part of the conversation:
“But it’s not about what I want is it.” And he meant it. Really meant it.
That has had a profound and lasting impact on me. I think what I mean is that church is nothing more than “us”. And there is no more requirement to be godly in church than anywhere else. There are good people and good church. And there are not.
I speak as one who was told off (without a word being said) for arriving in shorts one Sunday. The telling off was by a young three old girl stood next to her mum … if looks could kill!
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I’ve met very loving, giving, and amazing people at church. I don’t attend regularly anymore because the singing bothers me (I know that sound strange, but it REALLY bothers me), but I do support a church in my community and I go there on occasion. They feed the homeless twice a week and are an amazing group of people. My husband prepares food for the homeless there once a week.
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I remember you mentioning your husband and preparing food (in a very moving post!). And the music? Amen sister!! Although in my case it is some very “odd hymns and tunes” that grate! 🙂
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I think the music issue has to do with symptoms of schizophrenia but I’m not sure. The music makes me nervous. I’m not sure of all the reasons why.
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I see God everyday and I haven’t been inside a church in 8 years. Xo
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That “powerful man in the community” would have been so much more powerful had he apologized to you rather than turning away. We have all said ignorant and insensitive things, but then to compound foolishness with pride? You are right, not everyone who leads a church follows Christ. Love that last sentence.
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Yes, his pride often got the best of him. Thank you! 🙂
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This is a great but sadly in all honestly & reality very true. People tend to foolishly open their mouths not knowing what people face, deal with or have loved ones/friends dealing with such illnesses, etc. True colors show very brightly. Great l post!
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You are right. Thanks for your comment. Have a great rest of the week. 🙂
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You too
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Thanks! 🙂
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I know many are working to educate, to bring awareness and understanding into faith communities but there is still too large a gap! This is a powerful post!
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This happened ten years ago, so it is possible that most people are more aware now. Let’s hope so! 🙂
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Seems to be improving a bit, at least in my area.
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I think it is a group mentality and the pastor’s misguided attempt to create a divide between his congregation and all those outside of it. People feel they are more connected and cohesive as a group when they can have a set of rules that define them and they can point to “the other”. It starts in the school yard, and some people don’t grow and mature out of that behaviour. With greater equality being demanded and sought for all the different categories that people fall into (race, gender, sexuality, political persuasion), perhaps he felt (quite wrongly) that it was safe to make a joke about “the other” that surely couldn’t offend anyone in his congregation (unbeknownst to him!). It is quite sad that people don’t think about their actions in their efforts to fit in or come across as a “leader”.
I am amazed at the amount you write in advocating for equality for people with mental illness, while managing to keep giving a fresh perspective on the topic.
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Very interesting, and you are probably right. Thank you for taking the time to write such a well thought out comment, and for saying I keep a fresh perspective on issues of equality. I hope that people know I want equality for all people, but I happen to have more information about what it is like for the mentally ill than any other group. Thanks for reading my post, and I hope you have a great rest of the week! 🙂
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You do a great job of provoking thought, hence the thought out comment. Of course, I know you want equality for all, but I was just talking about your focus on mental illness.
Enjoy the rest of your week too 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂
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Hi, I just read your article and I feel your pain about thoughtless people in general.
This may not have anything to do with your great article but I feel so alone and scared having put in A MENTAL HEALTH WARRANT for my grandson yesterday.
He suffers from paranoid schizophrenia and is delusional and the family is becoming afraid for everyone’s safety. Thanks for being there for us.
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Hopefully, you will be able to get your grandson treatment. I know when I am delusional, I am thankful for the intervention of others. Keep us posted on how things are going. People are very supportive here.
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Powerful.
It is sad to say but I really don’t think that mental health issues are dealt with very good today. It is too easy to lump everyone into one category and forget that each one is an individual.
Awesome post. HUGS.
Sarah
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Thanks, Sarah! I hope you are having a great week and looking forward to the weekend! 🙂
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This genuinely broke my heart and I’m so sorry you went through this. I’m not Christian but I know that is not the way the pastor should have behaved – even as a human being.
You were so brave to say something!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Reblogged this on Dream Big, Dream Often and commented:
Check out the latest from A Journey With You!!
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Reblogged this on CELONA'S BLOG and commented:
“If I’m not welcome and the homeless are not welcome, neither is the revolutionary that we follow.”
I could relate with this completely
I thought I should share
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I can understand. When I share about my problems to a friend, she sends me that I have bipolar. It hurts me a lot. I begin to question God whether I go to the right person. Because the person said she respects me. I still question this though I feel she cares.
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Do you have a therapist or a doctor you can talk to?
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Nope c
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Is there a support group you can look into in your area? We all need people we can trust, relate to, and talk openly to. I hope you can find that support in your life.
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I’m wondering. Even I hope to find a support.
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Surely there must be a support group somewhere near? Do you have a citizens advice bureau who can advise? Otherwise, why not start a group ?!
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Good question.
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Jesus welcomes all who seek a seat at His Table and no pastor or lay person can deny that whether escorted out of a church or made to feel unwelcome in any way.
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I agree! 🙂
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“Jesus welcomes all who seek a seat at His Table” – absolutely! Clearly Jesus had left the building that Christmas night, or the pastor didn’t want Him in. It is sad to say that this is an all too familiar story. Churches become so wrapped in themselves they forget why they are there. To be delivering such pain on the night of the Holy Incarnation is a grave sin. I hope and pray the pastor saw the error of his ways. As for the guys who ejected the homeless man, let them spend a few nights on the streets in the cold and wet, without food or shelter, and see how they enjoy that. Do they not know the lesson of Jesus being born in a stable?
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Thank you for your well thought out comment. My heart was broken that night, but I continue to seek those who walk the talk and love above all.
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It is vital we seek out those who truly care and can support us. It has taken me many decades to learn the real meaning of Jesus’ command – and I now believe it was/is a ‘command’ – when and where one is not accepted, shake off the dust of that place from your feet and move on. Sometimes one has to say a pray and simply walk away, not looking back, no matter how painful that might be.
Prayers and blessing. Graham
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I am always learning. 🙂
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I’m so sorry. As a Christian I have a burden for people who have been hurt by the church so this struck a chord with me. I found myself saying to people “Please don’t give up on God! God is awesome but we as His Public Relations team have a tendency to suck!”
Thanks for sharing…so glad it was reblogged and I saw it.
Take care,
e
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And God is much bigger than the Church.
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YES!!! EXACTLY & AREN’T YA GLAD?
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Absolutely!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Reblogged this on My Daily Musing.
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