Tags
anxiety, body image, body shaming, confidence, diet, fashion, hope, inspiration, kindness, photography, public, random acts of kindness, social media, strangers, weight, writing
Meanness, if left to grow, will overtake the most pristine garden. So, let us cultivate empathy daily, and watch our beautiful places like heart and soul become a refuge for others to visit.
From the time I was sixteen to the time I was thirty-five, I was very fashion forward. As a teenager, I dyed a strip of my hair black, and let it grow much longer than my naturally colored hair (strawberry blonde). I kept that black tail in a braid on the right side and it hung well beyond my breast before I cut it off one day. I bought many of my clothes in Europe, Egypt, and in thrift stores so that I could be unique. I always wanted to wear things that no one else had. In college I had a clear plastic raincoat with red, blue and yellow polka dots on it that I wore with go-go boots. I also wore dresses, hats, and gloves that were from the nineteen-fifties that I bought at a vintage store that I loved.
It’s been a long time since I cared about fashion. I still shop at second hand stores, but not to be unique, I do it for the good of the environment (recycling), to be thrifty, to cut down on cheap clothes made in sweat shops overseas, etc. I’ve lost the motivation to put the time and effort into being fashionable. I simply don’t have the desire to spend on my looks. I rarely wear make-up. Although I envy my girlfriend’s brightly painted toenails, I never make the effort to get mine done, and I wear what is comfortable not necessary what is in fashion or the cutest. I don’t know if this has to do with getting older, getting lazier, being more comfortable with myself, or my illness (it very well could be all of those things).
The point I am trying to make is that I don’t try to impress or please others when I am out in public, and I don’t expect anyone to dress or please me. I notice that sometimes when women are together, they will toss a head in my direction and laugh (particularly when I wear a pair of polka dot pants that are so comfortable and that I love), or when I layer several shirts, put on a stretchy skirt and wear tennis shoes (I almost always wear tennis shoes which I know look funny with many of my outfits but my legs are significantly different lengths after the arch in my left foot collapsed). The fact that tennis shoes are about all I can wear brings up a good point, we don’t always know the story behind why someone is dressed the way they are. Maybe they are injured. Maybe, their kids are sick. Maybe, it is the first time they were able to make it out of bed this week. Maybe, they recently gained or lost a lot of weight and don’t have the money for new clothes.
This is why I am shocked, hurt, and appalled that people take photos of complete strangers out in public and then post them to their social media and make fun of the person in the picture and encourage their friends to make fun of them too. I have to admit I have seen women do this more than men. I recently saw a picture on Facebook of a woman that was probably a size sixteen wearing the new style of yoga shorts and a hoodie. The person who took the photo wrote, “Look what I have to look at while I eat my lunch.” There were so many comments shaming this woman for not being a size two and daring to wear short shorts out in public. When I saw the woman in the short shorts, I thought, “Wow. I wish I was that comfortable with my body! Good for her!”
When I am out in public, I don’t want to think that people are secretly snapping pictures of me to put on their social media accounts in order to mock me with their friends. I want to feel like I am free to be myself in the world without judgement or ridicule. I want you to have the same freedom from cruelty, and humiliation.
So what if our shorts are small, our shoes don’t match, or we are a plus size and want to wear spandex, let’s make a smile matter more than appearances, and a kind word open our heart.
I agree. Where did people’s manners go?
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I don’t know. I don’t know why people have to be so mean and think it is funny.
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I do also agree with you. I wear, what i feel like to wear that day. If I have more abundance one day, maybe I do something extra, otherwise I just dress.
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Me, too! I am most often dress in something comfortable!! 🙂
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Bravo!! Exactly the reason I still wear a two piece bathing suit I’m comfortable with who I am! (Not liking the rash look through)
I remember a coworker telling me I should wear more makeup – powder & lipstick is my usual and I told him to screw off
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We should be allowed to wear whatever we want without being bothered or shamed by others.
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I confess to having gaped at The People of Walmart before. There is kind of a schadenfreude sometimes. I can’t explain it and don’t want to be drawn. On the other hand, I wear some pretty odd things at times. Sometimes my children ask me to change.
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As everyone who reads my blog knows, I am far from perfect. I simply like to remind myself of things, make people think, and try to increase all of our compassion and empathy. You should see how I dress sometimes!!!! HA 🙂
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You make me smile, blog friend!
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Ditto! 🙂
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I’m with you Rebecca. Too bad those shame can’t see that their inner ugliness is way more unattractive than size 16 in spandex. And I wonder how they would feel if someone took a screenshot of their ugly and posted it on Facebook for others to ridicule. Of course, thankfully, those of us who appreciate inner beauty would never do it.
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It is just so mean to take picture of people with the intention of shaming them.
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Oh, and great final sentence (again).
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Thank you!!! 🙂
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Too bad those shamers. I’m so tired of spellcheck changing my words even after I change it back. Argggggh!
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HA HA HA!
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I have to say I agree on everything you wrote. People are full of prejudice these days, they laugh and gossip without ever stopping for a moment to look at the bigger picture. Keep doing the good work! 🙂
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People can be both terrible and beautiful. Hopefully, we all see more of the beauty. It is almost the weekend – I hope you have a good one!! 🙂
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