Tags
creative nonfiction, essays, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, poetry, prose poem, psychiatry, psychology, schizophrenia, writing
I am invisible. Our eyes don’t connect in a crowded room. You refuse to see me, because to see me might mean you have to acknowledge my existence, or worse yet, I might approach you and say, “Hello.” That would be threatening and uncomfortable wouldn’t it? Who wants to talk to the woman with schizophrenia? What can she possibly have to say that would benefit you? And it is all about benefits isn’t it? What can we get from one another? And you think I have nothing to offer, that I am a hole that will require you to throw something in, but not be able to take something out, and what you throw in will clamor and bang along the sides until it hits bottom with a thud. I am nothing to you. I am invisible. Less than a ghost, because even with a ghost you believe, you listen for the knock on the wall, or look for the flicker of a light. With me, there is nothing. To be invisible is to be without value, and to be without voice. I have cried into the stillness of night about how your language, the words you use, are like pins being stuck deep into my skin, not like acupuncture needles that don’t hurt, yours hurt, they wound, and I bleed. But my blood is like a drop of rain in Seattle, not noticeable, noteworthy, or cause for alarm. There will be no ambulance, no medics, no help is on the way, because I am invisible and there is nothing I can do to make you see me. I stand waving in the yard outside the windows of your house, but it is no use. I am invisible to you and you will never set your eyes on me until you change your mind and let loose a piece of your heart.
This is a powerful prose poem.
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Thank you, Lynda. The post I wrote on Tuesday, and this one, are the closest I have come to poetry since Steve died. My eyes filled up with tears just typing that. I have avoided poetry completely. I hope to see you soon. xo
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I don’t know your story, I’ve just found this post through the Blog Engagement group, but I wanted to say congratulations. I’m very proud of you for taking a step in expressing yourself through words when it seems like this has been hard for you to pick up again. Give yourself a big self hug from me.
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Thank you for stopping by and reading a post! I also thank your for your support! 🙂
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Our deepest desire is to be seen. And seen accurately. Xo
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I would talk to you and see you ❤
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Thank you!! 🙂
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Found you through the meet n greet. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.
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Thank you for stopping by. I look forward to visiting your blog.
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Painful prose.
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Yes, I write that way occasionally.
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This is very moving and raw.
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Thank you!!! 🙂
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Beautifully sad poem. I found your blog over at HarsH ReaLiTy! I’m looking forward to connecting.
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Thanks. I will check out your blog later today!
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Through a close friend of the family, I have seen how mental illness can take over your life and how hard it is cope. I admire your courage to put it all into words! Keep it up and never let your voice be silenced!
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Thank you!!! 🙂
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Through a close friend of the family, I have seen how mental illness can take over your life and how hard it is cope. I admire your courage to put it all into words! Keep it up and never let your voice be silenced!
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Thank you!!! 🙂
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Reblogged this on My Difference.
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Real, pure,raw emotions, and I certainly know about them , was sad to read , but also telling a story I beleive many can, and will relate too, thank you , take care be strong . XXXX
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Thank you!!! 🙂
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Thanks for the read. My background is in mental health and I always make the effort to smile and say hi. Great poetry by the way!
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Thank you!!! 🙂
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Very beautiful and touching!
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Thank you so much!!! 🙂
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Excellent. Thank you.
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Thanks!!!
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