Tags
beating, crime, gay, hate crimes, hate speech, homeless, homelessness, language, lbgt, Matthew Shepard, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, murder, pc, politically correct
Last night I watched the documentary, Matt Shepard is a Friend of Mine. I remember hearing about his murder back in 1998. About ten years ago my husband and I went to a play called, The Laramie Project. The play was also about Matthew’s death.
In case you are too young to remember, Matthew Shepard was a gay college student in Laramie Wyoming who was savagely beaten with the base of a gun and then tied to a fence for I think eighteen hours before someone found him. He was in a coma for a short time before he passed away. He was twenty-one years old. Initially, the two young men wanted to rob Matthew (and they did), but the horrendous beating of Matthew was a hate crime because the young men knew he was gay.
The part of the film that stood out most to me is while one of the young men who murdered Matthew walked into the courtroom he winked at people watching him. Every time the camera filmed him he was holding back a grin. It seemed to me that that young man believed he had done something right and honorable by beating Matthew and that people would agree with his actions.
That is a result of words like fag, homo, and the n word. It is also the result of words like a maniac, psycho, etc. When it is an acceptable practice to call people names, the process of dehumanization is at work. That dehumanization puts people at risk of violence. After all, if someone is a fag or n***** or psycho they are no longer, Rebecca, Brian, Joseph, Carla or a real person. They become something less than human they become something undesirable, something to be scorned, or even beaten and hated.
In the city where I live, there are often incidents of people beating up homeless people for fun. Yes, you read that right. Some young people have peed on them, had them do degrading things for money, and beat them for the fun of it. The paradox in this situation is that the people who usually commit these atrocities against the homeless are not terrible people. They are usually average young men out drinking with friends. The problem is that many people have dehumanized the homeless so that these young men think it is funny to degrade and hurt them. It is a joke. In their minds, they aren’t criminals they are just having some fun.
Many mentally ill people have been savagely beaten and killed, too. So have people of color and other minorities.
Recently it has become popular to fight against anything that is “politically correct” or “PC”. Not using derogatory language when referring to people is not being politically correct, or following some rules of “PC” language and behavior. Not calling people names can help save lives. I don’t imagine all the people that are angry about feeling they are being forced to use certain language would have a problem keeping people from being peed on or beaten.
There is such a backlash against using “PC” language, and people feel those who support it are being too sensitive. It isn’t too sensitive to want your loved ones to be seen and treated as human. In my opinion, so much hatred starts with words. I feel like most people don’t want to hurt other people, but they are exposed to so much of this breaking down of other people’s humanity that they don’t see certain people as fully human anymore.
The important thing is to make sure all of us, every single one of us, are looked at as people and not less than, or nothing, or someone that doesn’t feel, or matter.
If it means less hate crimes, less beatings, less harassment, less meanness toward others, I will be the first to try and change my language. I think freedom comes with responsibility to one another. If changing my words can help someone else, I’ll gladly do it. Yes, I will do it for you, and you, and you.
Yes and I think before we had PC, we had something called being polite. It’s never polite to call people insulting names. Even if you don’t know them personally.
I would disagree that people who beat up and abuse the homeless aren’t terrible people though. They absolutely are, they are an utter disgrace! They should be ashamed of themselves and I’d be ashamed to be a relative or friend of someone who did that. So yes that’s me being uncomplimentary about people I suppose. But yes to stoop so low isn’t a proud moment for anyone.
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I agree with you that being mean in anyway to people who are homeless is awful, but honestly it is the result of so much dehumanization. I think people that abuse others are terrible, too. I probably didn’t write that well enough. 🙂
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It’s just so hard for me to imagine not caring about the homeless.
But then I grew up with my father taking in the homeless. My paternal ancestors had a huge social conscience and were always helping the poorest of the poor. My best friends worked with the homeless, got partnered to homeless and self medicating men. To other people it’s culture shock I suppose. But any person in the flesh is blood and bone – we all bleed. However culture shock plus not being very drunk – I guess I can see what you mean. It is a disgrace isn’t it.
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My husband volunteers to feed the homeless. I don’t understand not caring for people who live on the street. It is a disgrace that we don’t have more services and compassion.
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Plus being extremely drunk – I meant to say.
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I knew what you meant 🙂
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I am afraid I must disagree. If someone makes a homeless person do something degrading or pees on them for fun, that is being a terrible person.
Actually, I think you post really means to suggest that average people like me can easily offend and hurt with out thinking if we are not careful. And plenty of people have not plan to be careful.
As it turns out, I think there is a strong apples and oranges element to the Matthew Shepherd thing. I happen to think homosexuality is wrong. I see it as a complex issue. And no. I don’t have it all ironed out neatly. But that said, I also do not condone those boys beating him to death.
I hold a similar view of stealing. In some societies, if you are caught stealing, you get your hand cut off. I think that is extreme.
In fact, I have no desire to punish homosexuality at all. But that does not mean I think it is a worthy alternative lifestyle. I would rather have compassion of someone struggling with it. But I do not accept it as normal or good.
Likewise, I do not accept Schizophrenia as normal or good. But this in no way suggests that I think a person suffering with it should be punished. And in fact, I would want to take great care to insure that my casual speech does not inflict pain. Just because I happen to not suffer it does not mean that I don’t care. I actually do.
So… I think there is a lot of complexity here actually. And I am making adjustments as I go along too.
As always, I am sure my worldview is a bit strange, but I offer it for consideration.
Thanks for posting….
Agent X
Fat Beggars School of Prophets
Lubbock, Texas (USA)
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I’ve heard people use the phrase gay lifestyle many times, and wonder is that a euphenism for bedroom activities/physical intimacy? Because I would have thought, actually I know, that same sex attracted people lead a variety of lifestyles like the rest of the population, and some same sex attracted people, like some heterosexuals, are asexual and don’t do the physical side of love at all.
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I have no need to champion the terminology. But I see that despite the incongruity of the words and their meaning, the point is not lost – except by changing the subject around semantics.
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I always thought it meant that the person using the phrase believes there is a choice about sexuality. I’m not sure, but that is my understanding of it.
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Agent X I’ve no idea what you mean.
A Journey With You thank you for your feedback.
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Thank you for all your input. 🙂
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I think people can make terrible and horrible choices because of things they have been taught by the media, and others. I am just saying that horrible things can start by the words we use against one another. Violence of any kind is awful in my opinion.
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Wow! It seems the issue is more complex than I realized.
I can take this on one bit at a time if you like. Which part of what I said is not understood?
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I think people in numbers can get carried away and influence one another into doing horrible /disgraceful acts like this. It takes one strong personality with a warped sense of beliefs and values to turn a crowd into a mob. I am sometimes- no, often ashamed of being a human
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Wow! Now that is truly a sad statement.
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Yes, groups of people often do terrible things. I agree.
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About people being gay, I think it’s a complex issue but basically people can’t help how they feel, and, there is apparently no way to forcibly change what people physically desire – though, that sometimes does change spontaneously – and, being in love is always a beautiful thing in my eyes, and, it’s not like they’re doing any one any harm, and, some gay people are happy, so, I would say they should be left alone to live their lives in peace. If people don’t like gay people, well, would they make critical remarks about someone having a persistent skin disease, or not being blessed genetically with good looks? Would that be conducive to social harmony? Would they themselves like it if people carped on about what those people see as their faults, which they maybe don’t even agree with? Is heterosexuality always perfect, all the time for everyone, and, in physical ways never disgusting? I don’t think heterosexuality is. Basically, everyone’s on their own journey and has to make their own decisions and mistakes. I really don’t enjoy how women look when they’re dressed in unisex or butch fashions, and, I don’t enjoy the company of camp men, but I also don’t think pregnancy is pretty. But why should anyone else care about that? Other people don’t like how I dress or act, and like how heavily pregnant women look. LIfe is diversity, the best thing we can do is accept it because it’s sure not going to change.
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I am assuming this comment is not directed to me????
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No, it wasn’t personally directed to you ❤ It's just my thoughts on the subject.
I don't really believe in gay or heterosexual or labels on the one hand, and most of my friends don't either, but then when people online refer to a gay lifestyle, I think, (though not sure), they're talking about physical intimacy desires, and that definitely is a thing in itself which does exist for some people, and, it always seems that the e- talkers have a problem with that – I've no idea how the e-talkers, (like Agent X above), feel about the complexities of being in love, gender identity, and so on, as regards being gay – so I kind of steer my talk about being gay around the physical intimacy thing when I'm talking online with people who use labels, (no judgement implied about using labels, I just don't really believe in them).
I have found a lot of gay men don't want to be physically gay in their carnal desires, because spiritually and maybe romantically they love women so much, plus, maybe they've been brought up in cultures which value monogamous marriage and family all in the same house and home, so, with them in mind I can't feel totally positive about gay people only having physical desires and no romantic desires for the same sex, as I know that while some in that position are happy to have the physical desires, others want a cure. That can be a sad burden but sadly I do believe there isn't a cure at the moment.
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Oh, okay 🙂
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To me it is disgusting and sad when some people get their “kicks” by harming and degrading other people. We all need to have understanding and compassion toward one another and our language should reveal that.
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I agree! 🙂
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Your post left me with a range of thoughts – and then the comments below even more so. I was going to pass by and not comment – and as I moved away form here realised why.
PC is a behaviour. It is a way of behaving in a certain situation. And like all such behaviours is no more than repressing what cannot be said (and usually is when not having to be PC). Homosexuality for me has never been a complex issue. Just as who each of us is attracted to is really simple: you are or you aren’t. And if you are you many be sexually attracted or not. And if you are you may want to act on that or not. And if you do then that is what each of us deal with in each relationship (or hoped for relationship).
I think what I mean is that when respect and courtesy become a way of being – then the behaviour will follow. Until then – repressing one behaviour with another seems to result in an release of the alive and kicking “no-PC stuff” – and with it maybe even a sense of entitlement to do so.
Every label hides real people. No matter the label. And “being PC” is another label. And making things “complicated” just another expression of that. You have done so much to take the labels away. You have changed me – still are – and that is precious. Thank you.
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Thank you for taking the time to comment. I don’t know why this particular post has attracted attention because I say similar things all the time. I see all people as valuable. I respect all people. I believe all people deserve to be treated with decency. (I also detest violence of any kind). I think that the LGBT community and minorities share something in common with those of us with a mental illness. There are so many experiences we all share – stereotypes, risk of violence, name calling, etc. I have said this in so many ways. I appreciate that you think I have broken down some labels – that is a wonderful thing. Thank you for writing that. Being a voice for people who are often voiceless is so important to me. Have a great day! 🙂
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