My husband and I have been home together for 110 days. I can count the number of times we have left our building the past three months on two hands. During this home time, this social distancing time, this “him and me” time, I have been working on myself far more than usual.
When we received the stimulus check, I signed up for virtual counseling with a counselor at BetterHelp. After two months, I decided that it was too expensive and signed up for counseling through my psychiatrist’s office. The counselor I have now works in conjunction with my primary care physician and my psychiatrist. I feel like I have a reliable treatment team in place. I feel like I made a move to do everything I can to reduce symptoms and live a life with as few difficulties as I can reasonably control.
My counselor and I have been working on techniques to lower my anxiety and ways to overcome some medical trauma I have, so I don’t panic every time I need to see a doctor. One of the techniques she is working with me on is to distance myself from my thoughts. What this is, is a way to have my thoughts have less power over my reactions and responses. So, for example, if I am anxious about going to the doctor, I say to myself, “I am having anxious thoughts about going to the doctor.” She said this technique works well for some people, but she asked me to also keep in mind that not everything works for everyone.
A few things that appear to be working well for me are deep breathing exercises ( I do these while doing my morning stretches), and I do them when I find myself tense, tight, and stressed during the day. When I am doing the deep breathing exercises during the day, I imagine tree roots growing from my body into the chair where I am sitting (a grounding exercise I learned in my mindfulness journal). If the tree roots exercise doesn’t start to relax me, I imagine I am wrapped tightly from head to foot in a blanket like we often swaddle babies. While visualizing these things, I focus on my breath and breathe as deeply as possible. Most of the time, I can slow my heart down, and feel the tension that gets all balled up in my shoulders and chest and upper arms start to fade away.
The other technique that is helping me is my writing practice. I used to write whenever I had an assignment for a magazine due, when I thought of an idea for a blog post, when I thought of a poem, or when I was working on an essay that I wanted to pitch to an editor. For the past 40 days, I have been practicing something called Wild Writing with Laurie Wagner. Every morning, I receive a video from her, and she reads a poem then gives a writing prompt. I set my timer and write for 15 minutes as fast as I can. Some days the writing is terrible (and that doesn’t matter), other days I write something I like and want to develop into a blog post, poem, or essay. My writing practice has tapped into many of my memories, and it is a safe place to write how I am feeling and thinking about current events.
We tried to open up our economy in California, but it looks like we will begin closing back down again today. The pandemic has been stressful, continually worrying about getting sick or loved ones getting sick. It has also been stressful to witness the massive division in our country over racism and even over wearing masks. Almost everything on the news is cause for intense worry and concern. These days are full of uncertainty and confusion, but I am working to make myself as strong and resilient as possible in a time when those two things seem necessary to daily survival.
Thank you for sharing the practices you use to manage anxiety. It’s such an anxious time in the world, and it helps to hear as many ways as possible that people have for taking care of themselves and coping the best they can.
And writing, oh my gosh, isn’t amazing and beautiful the way writing helps to bring out our truth, our memories and resilience at our core!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, writing helps save me.
LikeLike
What a great post,i like to read what you write. Your writing is interesting. Makes me think and feel better.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Michelle!
LikeLike
My mind is so unruly! And moving toward my publication date, every little thing sets it off. I have a hard time remembering these mind tricks. But you have encouraged me to try again. Maybe if I tattooed it on my arm, “Distance…”
LikeLiked by 1 person
I received you ARC. I have 2 books in front of yours! I’ll try to hurry!
LikeLike
When you are anxious you stated ‘I say to myself, “I am having anxious thoughts about going to the doctor.’ This makes quite a bit of sense. I think doubling a feeling can be cathartic. When an individual has lived through a traumatic incident one of the first things that is done in therapy is the traumatic incidence is recalled. This recalling of the traumatic incident can be cathartic. Catharsis does not have to be only about major life traumas but rather can be directed at every day but still troubling incidents.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve been reading about these techniques in a book on healing trauma.
LikeLiked by 1 person