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An Active Shooter: You Never Think It Will Happen To You

05 Thursday Nov 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, schizophrenia

≈ 54 Comments

Tags

america, crime, domestic violence, guns, medication, mental illness, mentally ill, police, schizophrenia, shooter, violence

I heard gunshots yesterday morning at about 9. I got down on the floor and stayed there for a while. After several minutes of silence and sirens I made my way to the window. I could see the police blocking off the streets. My neighbors were outside beneath my window. I heard more sirens.

I called my husband at work and said, “I don’t know what is happening but I am okay. There were gunshots and now the police are blocking off the street.”  We talked for a minute and then we hung up.

I looked out the window again, and my neighbors were gathered and talking on the street. I decided to put on some jeans, go downstairs, and ask my neighbors what was going on. I headed out my condo door.

On the street, I joined a group of my neighbors. “Did that wake you up?” One of my neighbors asked.

“No, I’ve been up for hours.” I said.

“There is a shooter somewhere.” One of my neighbors said.

“I am going back in. It probably isn’t safe on the street.” I said and headed back toward the front door.

When I got back upstairs I heard the police tell everyone to get inside, “Now!”

I heard more gunfire.

I went into the back bathroom of my house with my tablet and cellphone. I called my husband. I told him I was hiding in the bathroom. He looked up the news and told me there was an active shooter in our neighborhood. While I was talking to him I could hear rapid gunfire. I told my husband the neighborhood was blocked off completely and not to come home. I said, “It is dangerous here, don’t come.”

My husband had to go to a meeting, so I called my mom and then my dad. While I was talking to my mom I heard men on the roof of my building. I heard loud voices and banging. I hung up the phone and walked into the closest to see if I could hear what the people somewhere in my building were saying.

The banging got louder. I heard people yelling, “Police! Open up!”

I crept into the front room and went to the front door. I opened it slightly, and there were about ten to fifteen officers in my hallway. One of them said, “Come here, right now.”

“Can I lock my door? Can I get my keys?” I asked.

They told me no, so I went down the hall to them in my bare feet and with my door open. I was terrified. I told one of the officers, “I have a mental illness.”

The officer shouted, “Wait, we have someone here with a mental illness!”

My neighbor, who was also in the hallway said, “Who has a mental illness?”

The officer and I didn’t say anything.

They put us in the elevator and told us to push the button for floor 1 and go to apartment 3. They told us officers would be waiting. We went to the 1st floor, and made our way to apartment 3 where several officers escorted us outside and down the street.

I borrowed my neighbor’s cell phone and called my husband. I told him I had been evacuated and I didn’t have shoes. My husband left his meeting, and started to run from downtown toward home. When he arrived several blocks away, the officers told him to go back. He finally talked to an officer and told him that his wife was close to the incident and that he could see me in a black t-shirt standing in a group of people. The officer started to escort him down the street, and I saw him and started walking toward him. Once the officer saw me coming toward them, he let my husband continue on his own.

At one point I told a female officer that I had paranoid schizophrenia and that I would need my medication by 5. The officer took my name, my apartment number, and where I kept my medication. She came back twice during the ordeal to update me on getting my medication. She was truly compassionate, took my illness and needs seriously and was more than willing to help me try and get what I needed.

We learned that the original call to police was a domestic disturbance and when the police arrived the man in the apartment building next to ours shot at the police barely missing an officer.

We spent the next 4-5 hours standing on the street, waiting for the stand-off between the shooter and the police to be over. The police were eventually able to take the shooter into custody. Thankfully, no one got hurt.

We were let back in our home at approximately 3. My feet were sore and dirty, my face was sunburnt, my back hurt, and I was on the verge of tears.

Something has to Give: Medical Treatment Out of Reach

01 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

acitivist, advocacy, Advocate, america, bills, bipolar, depression, letters, medical, medical care, medicine, mental illness, politics, psychiatry, schizophrenia, Treatment, writing

I received a notice from my insurance company that my doctor’s office had not billed them correctly. In the notice it showed the amount of the bill. I saw my psychiatrist for approximately 15 minutes and the bill was almost $400.

I know that if someone doesn’t have insurance and is paying cash, the cost goes down considerably because I negotiate medical fees for my father-in-law who pays cash when he sees the doctor.

Even if the cost goes down for people paying cash, how can a medical group justify charging my insurance company nearly $400 for 15 minutes of a doctors time? I don’t know how much of this fee my husband and I are going to have to pay.

I find this situation criminal. Everyone wants the severely mentally ill to seek treatment (because there can be, at times, terrible consequences if we go untreated), but at the same time, many people are blocked from receiving that treatment because of the cost of health care. We all know there are not enough community clinics, or places to be seen free of charge or on a sliding scale fee. Combine cost, and inaccessibility, stigma, shame and fear, and we have an unacceptable situation where it is possible that the most severe cases of mental illness are going untreated.

No one should have to suffer through symptoms that are manageable through medication/treatment. It can put the person who is ill at high risk of suicide or drug and alcohol abuse (to try and escape symptoms), and it can possibly put the public at risk.

I think everyone should have an interest in providing easy access to care for the mentally ill but a $400 bill to my insurance company says that this is not the case.

Please, if you ever get the chance to ask a question of one of the people running for a political office, ask them what they intend to do with the soaring costs of medical care, especially related to the mentally ill.

I urge you, if you can vote, do vote, and make sure you know where your candidate stands on this issue that can and does touch us all.

And as always, I recommend writing a few well thought out letters to your representatives, and even calling their offices. Our voices do make a difference. They really do.

$400? Something has to give and I don’t want it to be me, giving even more for care that is essential for me to function at all.

The Recent Shootings and Mental Illness

20 Saturday Jun 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in bipolar, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

advocacy, america, bipolar, discrimination, dylann roof, guns, insanity, killings, media, mental health, mental illness, murder, psychiatry, psychology, racism, stereotypes, stigma, tragedy

I cried yesterday morning. Crying isn’t unusual for me, I cry easily, but the reason I cried is a first. It is a first in my lifetime. It is an amazing time for mental health advocates, and it just might be the beginning of a new world for those of us with a mental illness.

People are not letting it happen. People are speaking out and pushing back.  The media tried to say mental illness was the cause of the horrific murders of nine people in South Carolina, and for once, there are writers pushing back on the stereotypes. It’s not going to be allowed to happen this time. Our illnesses are not going to be used as the cause of the violence in America.

You can read an article from The Stranger, here.  You can read another article from Salon, here. Read them and mourn for those nine victims and their families, but rejoice that this time, a mass shooting is not going to be tied to the mentally ill.

These are two great articles, but that is not all. I read it on people’s Facebook statuses. The posters I read were vocal about not calling the shooter, mentally ill.  They want it to be considered as, and be remembered as, and be tried as, exactly what it is, a crime of hate.

There is hatred in America, and that is the root cause of these tragic killings.  I think we would all agree that the real definition of insanity is to go into a church, participate in Bible study, and then open fire on the people you just worshipped with.  That is true insanity, and has nothing to do with mental illness.

We must keep the victims of this tragedy at the heart of the issues here. They deserve to be remembered, and they deserve justice, and they deserve a society that works hard to try and change the climate that would make their deaths by a gunman in a church even possible.

We must remember those beautiful lives first, but we must also know that our voices have been heard. The tide is changing. The stereotypes are losing some of their power and hold on the minds of the American people. Now, I challenge you, my fellow mental health advocates, to make sure that you also help eliminate stereotypes about all people whenever and wherever you encounter them.

We gained some territory, but let’s help everyone who is discriminated against, who has to live with stereotypes to gain some fresh ground too.  We know what it is like to live with cruel jokes. We know what it is like to have so much misunderstanding, ignorance and hatred thrown our way. Let’s help all the other people who suffer in a way similar to ours.

If one of us wins, we all win. The struggle continues.

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