Tag Archives: beauty

Low Energy Tips and Tricks for Looking Your Best on a Mental Health Day

13 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by in mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized

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There are days when all of us feel like washing our hair, brushing our teeth and putting on makeup is too much for our tired, anxious, or depressed body to do. There are days when getting out of bed seems almost impossible.  Since 1 in 4 Americans will have a mental illness in their lifetime, it is no joke to talk about mental health days. Of course, even people without an anxiety disorder, depression or some other form of mental illness, need a mental health day. In our work-centered society, taking a day off from the office, or passing on an important social engagement isn’t always possible even if we feel we need to do it to care for our selves. So, how do we get up, make ourselves presentable to go to work, or that party our boss invited us to, or that bridal shower for our bestie when we can’t imagine going through the process of “getting ready?”

The answer is in basics and statement pieces. These two things can become your go-to when you have to cut your daily hygiene or beauty routine short. Consider these tricks and tools to be your mental health beauty bag on those days when energy is at a low and apathy is at a high.

If you have trouble washing your hair on difficult days, you might find buying one of the many dry shampoos that are currently on the market to be a lifesaver. If you have long hair, you might be able to wear it in a simple braid or a ponytail or bun and pull off a fresh look. I recently cut my long hair into a no style (multiple different layer lengths) cut so even when I roll out of bed, my hair looks good (it feels like a whole new world).

On a good day, some people enjoy powder, foundation, blush, eyeliner, lipstick, and mascara. On a bad or low day, this can seem impossible to pull off. For my mental health days, I limit my make-up to two things, and I make them stand out. I have purple eyeliner and purple mascara in my mental health bag. (I tried blue lipstick, and with my fair complexion I looked horrible). Finding, your two stand-out pieces, might take some trial and error. But a great shade of lipstick (maybe not as drastic as blue) and a colored mascara can often be all you need for a pulled together look.

I know for many of us we could live in our yoga or sweatpants, but that doesn’t work as business attire in most offices. For statement pieces in my wardrobe on difficult days, I turn to one item of clothing that I love. It might be a blouse, a scarf, a pair of shoes, a skirt, or slacks. Just one item that I think is fashionable and that makes me feel good. I put on that item with whatever else makes me comfortable (comfort and low-effort are key). Remember this is your trick and toolkit for surviving and (putting on the face of thriving) on your hardest days.

That leads us to accessories. On a good day, I put on earrings, a necklace, several rings, a tennis bracelet or I grab a handful of bangles and mix and match them stylishly on my wrist. On a low or no energy day, I do the same with accessories as I do with my outfit. I pick one thing that I love, and that is unique (as in a one-of-a-kind piece from Etsy, or a farmer’s market). With my new short hairstyle, I usually pick big dangly earrings, but in the past, I frequently grabbed a necklace.

Then we get to brushing and flossing our teeth. I could offer you a mint, but other than that, on this one, you are on your own.

Look At The Moon It Could Increase Your Joy

11 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by in hope, writing

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I love life, but life is not easy. Most people are dealing with an illness or the illness of a family member or friend. There are days when the dishwasher breaks, your car won’t start, your boss says something critical. On those days we can lose our perspective. Life can seem more like work and difficulty and less like wonderment, and beauty.

It is also difficult if you are plugged in to social media not to get discouraged and frightened about our future. There is ISIS, there is the crisis in Syria, there is climate change, there is famine, and there is the risk of disease. All of this information can be overwhelming. It can make the strongest optimists among us feel the twinges of fear and hopelessness.

There is so much pain, suffering, greed and pure evil in the world, it is often hard to notice that the leaves on the trees have changed and are falling, the night comes earlier, and the days get shorter, the stars continue to shine, and the moon is high in the sky even if you can’t see it. And that is the secret – the moon says it all. It is there every night, just like the beauty and love in life, even if we can’t always see it.

I don’t wait at the window every night and search for the moon, although I should. I should look for the wonder, for the joy, for the small miracles that surround me every day and are threatened to be covered by clouds of negativity. Most times when I see the moon, it is by accident. I am going to the grocery store and I catch a glimpse of a globe glowing in the sky, or the clouds break and I catch a sliver hanging in the darkness. The same is true of the mysteries and enchantment of life. I catch glimpses of it as I go about my day – someone buys a sandwich or cup of coffee for a homeless person, someone helps me pick up the bag of books I dropped, someone returns my cell phone to the lost and found, someone gives me a discount when I didn’t ask or expect one, the flowers bloom and it’s not spring, I hear a song that reminds me of first love, people  smile at me, people laugh, people hold hands, people lock arms and they kiss.

The amazement is for the young and old. No one has any more access to the beauty than any other. We can be a part of the magic too. We can actually help people glimpse the moon unexpectedly. We can make people feel special. We can make people feel seen and heard. We can do something kind or thoughtful for our coworkers, a stranger, or a friend. We can all smile at the people we see. We can listen to someone’s heartache. We can buy someone a chocolate bar for no reason. We can buy a stranger a cup of coffee. We can offer our seat on the bus. We can let someone go in front of us in line.

We have the power to help people notice that the moon in all of its stages. We can give everyone a view from our window so they can experience the wonder of the daily tides.

Lessons From Baseball

07 Monday Sep 2015

Posted by in relationships, writing

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Yesterday at the baseball game, it was the bottom of the ninth and the score was five to one. There was really no chance for the home team but they were up to bat, and they had two outs – they needed a miracle. When the batter got up to the plate, his first swing was a strike, and then he hit a fly ball, and then another strike. Many people in the audience started cheering for him to strike out. The crowd was loud, and they were cheering for him to fail.

Later that night, my husband, and me, my brother, and his friend were all talking about how hard it would be to be doing the thing you love the most, and that you are one of the best at, and have people yelling at you and hoping you do poorly. That is how it is in sports – there is always a group of people hoping you mess up, don’t play your best, or essentially lose to the other player or team.

Then we thought about our own lives. All of us had at least one person we could name in our lives that hoped we failed, or that treated us poorly when we succeeded, or acted like they were in competition with us. My brother’s attitude was that most people really are not happy to see you do well. My brother’s friend, Sam, said that one of her best friends recently wrote her a letter stating that she no longer wanted to be friends because she was so envious, and couldn’t be happy for the changes in Sam’s life (Sam recently fell in love, got a new job and moved to a great new area).  Her friend preferred to end their longtime friendship rather than hear about Sam’s happiness and new adventures.

Sam also said that she thought there was always someone in all of our lives (she thought usually a sister) who we were generally happy for when they took a great vacation, or bought a new house, or got a dream job, but underneath we felt envy.

For me personally, I can’t think of someone specific that I am envious of, but occasionally I will meet someone who I think has suffered little hardship and I will think, “Why does everything always go right for you?” With people like that I feel a twinge of envy.

I think social media is used and in a way to try to make everyone feel envy – people only post their best pictures and often they are taken with a filter or Photoshopped. People take pictures of their drinks and their food, making it look like they are always having a party. People take pictures of every event they go to making it look like they are always having fun, and of course people take pictures of every vacation. Most of social media is an illusion, an image that people are trying to create and maintain. I don’t feel envious of people on social media, because I know most people are not authentic or real on social media – they don’t post the mundane, or sprinkle the good with the bad.  Studies have shown that many people do feel badly about social media – it contributes to negative feelings about their own lives.

I struggle in other ways, but overcome it daily. I see writers every day that are writing for the magazines I want to write for, or I read their work and I know it is so much better than mine. When that happens, I tell myself, “You need to read more, and write more. You need more practice.” I tell myself to keep going. In other words, there may be some initial envy, but the other writer’s success usually pushes me to try harder. I think that is a good way to overcome envy, by bettering myself.

If you are the kind of person that is envious of beauty, or body shape, you can’t just try harder to make your hair thicker, or your cheekbones higher, or wish your wrinkles away. In those situations, you have to practice a form of acceptance. Somehow you have to know that you are good enough, beautiful enough, worthy enough, and I know it sounds cliché but it honestly helps to think of all you are grateful for.

I want to be the kind of person that is happy when others succeed. I want to believe that there is enough goodness, and good fortune for all of us, and that having someone be happy, or get their dream job, is a great thing, not something that hurts my chances of landing my dream job.

I don’t want to be the person in the crowd yelling for someone to fail, I want to be the one who acknowledges a good play when I see it even if it comes from someone on the opposing team – really, there are no opposing teams, just us, trying to live together- let’s cheer loud and hard for one another. The worst that will happen is we will all have a sore throat from cheering, and that hurts much less than envy.

A Saturday post that has Nothing to do with Schizophrenia

25 Saturday Jul 2015

Posted by in hope, relationships, writing

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Last weekend my husband’s brother, his wife, and two kids came to visit us. They hit terrible traffic and a drive that normally takes three and a half hours took over six. They were tired, grumpy and hungry when they arrived. I’m not much of a cook (okay, I’m not a cook at all) so we decided to treat them to a specialty pizza place a few blocks from our house (they appreciated not getting back in the car).

The pizza place is nothing fancy, but it has really good food – white pizza (which is, if you don’t know, a pizza without the tomato sauce), pizzas with loads of garlic, huge servings of delicious salads (we usually get the Greek one), and they have a variety of very tasty paninis (some vegetarian, some not). They also serve beer and wine.

As we were all sitting at a table waiting for our food to come out, my husband and I were reminiscing about our birthday party two years ago that we had at the pizza place. We remembered the party and its great turn out with fondness. We bought pizza and the first drink for all the attendees, after that, they were on their own.

Just before the food arrived, my husband said to me, “Let’s come here once a week. Let’s make it a standing date night.”

“That sounds fantastic.” I said.

We have been looking for places in our city to frequent often so that the staff will recognize our faces, and possibly after several months, get to know our names. My husband and I are more often than not just faces in the crowd. We are frequently anonymous, and we want to be more of a part of our city and the life that goes on here.

My husband has his job (where of course he is well known), we have a group of friends that we hang out with on a fairly regular basis, I know some writers, and my husband has his regular volunteer work at the soup kitchen (where he is also well know), but the truth is we still spend a lot of time just the two of us together. We want to belong more to our city, and the people who live here.

Last night we went back to the pizza place for our first date night there. The young men who work there are always quick with their smiles (they seems so genuinely happy). I only recognized one of them from when we were there last weekend, and I’m not sure he recognized us.

Since my husband and I went public with my diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia approximately five to six months ago, we have really come out of our protective shell.

In the age of cell phones and selfies, Facebook and Twitter, this is the opposite approach most people are taking. Most people want to create what the world sees of them. We want to look people in the eyes, hear their voices, and make a real connection that has nothing to do with putting on our best face. Our real faces will do. We would like to shake people’s hands, look them in the eyes, and share a few stories or laughs that don’t require hitting a like button.

I guess we want to step back in time a little, leave technology at home, practice our social skills, and be more involved in the vibrant, beautiful, amazing lives that are going on all around us.

If you are out today and you see a woman and man with their heads buried in their phones texting or updating their Facebook status, that isn’t us.

We’ll be the ones talking to servers in restaurants, having a conversation with the cashier, smiling at the people who cross our path, and holding hands and having a conversation about our hopes and dreams. If you see us, stop us, and let’s have a chat, because this is the stuff real life is made of and it won’t be a status on Facebook.

Being Beautiful and Mentally Ill

22 Wednesday Jul 2015

Posted by in writing

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I would like to introduce my new blog. This blog, A Journey with you, will remain the same. My second blog is called, Being Beautiful and Mentally Ill. You can find it here. 

Being Beautiful and Mentally Ill is a lifestyle blog for (mostly) women who have a mental illness. I will discuss fashion, weight loss, travel, food, exercise, etc.

I am looking for bloggers who have a mental illness to guest blog a recipe, a craft, fashion, make-up, travel, art, photography, etc. on the site.

I want people to know we have a mental illness but that doesn’t keep us from being beautiful women. We are like all women – amazing.

Please visit the blog, leave a comment, sign up, or let me know if you have something to contribute.

This is a community blog, let’s make it exciting!

Packing on the Pounds: Medication

12 Sunday Jul 2015

Posted by in hope, mental illness

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At times I feel sorry for myself, because not only do I have a mental illness, but I have to deal with the health risks of medications, as well as, weight gain and lack of motivation. Everyone with a mental illness who is on medication can relate to what I am talking about. You probably have to get your liver, kidneys, sugar, cholesterol, and for some of us, our hearts, checked on a regular basis. These things add to an already stressful life and situation.

But the health risks don’t damage self-esteem like the weight gain does.

When I had my last medication change my weight went up to 178 pounds.  I was at that weight for a while before I couldn’t take the way I looked or the impact the extra weight was having on my body like sore knees and chaffing when I walked.

I went on a diet for a year and lost 53 pounds.  At 125, I was so thin, and so happy. I stayed at 125 for a couple of years, and then gradually I started to put the weight back on. I gained 25 pounds.

I know I am not fat, but I have a roll of skin around my waist, and everything about me is bigger. I don’t like it at all. So, I started back on a diet again. Losing weight on medication is not for the weak willed. It is difficult, it is slow, and it takes a great deal of discipline. Also, I noticed I am in a better mood when I put more food into my body. When I eat less, I am cranky far more often. I notice that I snap at my husband for things that shouldn’t bother me.  I think blood sugar is something I am extremely sensitive to.

So, hopefully, if I can stay disciplined over the next 25 weeks (approximately six months), then I will lose the weight I have gained back after my original diet.

Everything I just wrote is factual, but there is something else happening in my life in regard to beauty. I see physically beautiful women and men all the time, but I am not taken in by their looks. What I am taken in by in my life are people who can write or create something beautiful. I am taken in by the ability of people to reveal a part of their depth or soul. If someone can write words that help me travel their inner landscape, I find myself thinking that person is beautiful in a way appearances don’t touch.

I have never fell in love with someone based on their appearance, and I have never befriend someone for their looks either. I think I have always been able to see more than what someone has displayed on the outside, but what I am experiencing now is a whole new definition of beauty and I do desire to be close to it, to experience it, to know it in a way that physical beauty has never drawn me in.

So while I am trying to get my weight back down to where I am comfortable, I am not preoccupied with it, or shaming or hating myself for the body I live in.  I know what kind of food will make me truly beautiful and it has nothing to do with eating. It is the kind of nourishment I give to my soul and to my art. It is the time I spend alone trying to discover what lives inside of me and how to bring those jewels out into the light.

I know it is hard to gain weight, especially as a consequence of taking care of yourself by taking your medications, but try not to be hard on yourself. I see your beauty every time I get a glimpse of what lives in the inner most regions of you.

Those dark spaces that you shed light on are beautiful. I love seeing you.