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A Journey With You

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A Journey With You

Tag Archives: birthday

To Older Siblings Everywhere

17 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by A Journey With You in heroes, relationships, Uncategorized

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

birthday, brother, brothers, childhood, elementary school, family, growing up, memories, parents, school, sibling, siblings, the wonder years, tribute

Do you ever think about your childhood and what your life was like then? I am decades away from living in the pink house, across the street from an elementary school, where I spent seven of my childhood years (from age 3 to 10).

I think about that time, with a chicken coop out back full of hens and a rooster or two; the garden that provided us with almost all of our vegetables and enough cucumbers, green beans, cauliflower, and carrots for many dinners and pickling. There were the apple trees, plum tree, and apricot trees, and a patch of strawberries and rhubarb. I’ll never forget picking tomatoes out of the garden and biting into them as the juice made a path across my dirt covered face.

It isn’t the fresh food I remember most, though or the smell of lilacs that wafted through the yard in spring. What I remember most is life with my three older brothers. I remember the times I was allowed to play with them or tag along with them, and the times I was told, no and was left behind.

Today, my oldest brother, Joel, turns sixty and it is his birthday that has me wandering back to the house where we all lived together under one roof. A house where the walls and floors and paint and furniture held our laughter, our secrets, our dreams, and our tears. At times blood tied us together, and at times life, anger and choices tore us apart.

My brother Joel had a pet mouse, a pet rat, pet snakes, played baseball as a catcher, and kept more than a dozen Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in the freezer and instructed his younger siblings not to touch that chocolate.

I looked up to my oldest brother, and I listened to him. Listening to Joel was a problem, though because he liked to tell stories. Stories weren’t for lying, although he occasionally received a spanking for that, his stories were made up to entertain himself and anyone else who would listen. I was always a willing audience.

Joel once sent me to school with a bottle of mouthwash (I didn’t know what it was) and told me to drink it for superpowers like running faster or jump roping longer. He told me it was “White Lightning,” a magic potion. You can imagine how well my bottle of white lightning went over with my teachers in elementary school.

At school for show-and-tell, we were instructed to bring things from home that started with the letter, B. Joel went through our whole house and collected everything from baseballs, books, batteries, brushes, etc. and sent me to school with bags full of things that started with a B. I brought at least ten times the number of items of any other kid.

Another time for show-and-tell, Joel sent me to school with a record by Shel Silverstein. He wanted me to share the song, “Sarah, Cynthia, Silvia Stout.” It is a song about a girl who will not take the garbage out. The song is very funny, and my class loved it and wanted to hear the other songs on the record. Well, some of the other songs, contain adult language and themes and once again, I upset the elementary school teachers.

Having older siblings almost ensures that you will know things teachers don’t think are age appropriate. That means getting in trouble for being “ahead of the class” in things like anatomy and sex.

When our time in the pink house came to an end, and my parents went different ways, my brother Joel stepped in and took care of all of us in ways he was too young to do. At night before bed, he would drive my brother, Andrew, and I out to the neighboring town so we could see our mom at her waitressing job and she could kiss us before he took us home and put us to bed.

There are a thousand other memories; feelings, images, familiar smells, favorite foods, least favorite foods that bring back the time we shared under one roof. Good times and bad times. Happy times and hard times. But in the end, there is nothing quite like having an older brother.

Part of Me is Part of You

23 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by A Journey With You in relationships, Uncategorized, writing

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

aging, birthday, birthdays, dad, dads, daughters, fathers, growing up, hope, inspiration, love, parenting, parents, relationships

My dad turned eighty-years-old today. Just as I can’t believe I am fifty-years-old, I can’t believe my dad is eighty.

I’m so thankful that he is, though.

This post is for you, dad.

I remember you tucking me into bed at night. You listened to my prayers and read me my favorite books. Do you remember the book about the little princess and the boy who was blind? It was my favorite story. Somewhere in the stories, books, actions, our lifestyle, you impressed upon me a sense of justice. I like the world to be decent, kind and fair. I have a small town, blue collar sensibility even though I have spent years in college continuously increasing my education.

I learned the value of a dollar from you, and in this debt heavy society that was a gift you gave me that has kept me from purchases and tastes I couldn’t afford. Living within my means has freed me up to change jobs, move to different cities, and follow my dreams. I have never been a slave to credit card bills or loans.

I remember the science project you helped me with ( I probably got an A), and the handmade Halloween costumes, the sugar and butter sandwiches, peanut butter and mustard sandwiches, peanut butter and garlic salt sandwiches, and peanut butter and onion sandwiches. Some of those I still eat, and a good sandwich is still one of my favorite meals.

I remember the first year after your divorce on Valentine’s Day you sent me a music box shaped like an old phonograph player that played the song, “The Impossible Dream.”

So many things seemed impossible then. We didn’t know what the future would bring.

As a dad, you had three boys and me. I was the youngest and your one shot at raising a daughter. I have to admit I never felt like a princess, but I think that is a good thing – it kept me humble, simple and satisfied with the everyday.

We won’t get any recognition or win any awards for our roles as father or daughter, but I want you to know, you were always enough for me.

I wouldn’t be me without you. And the truth is, I’m happy, dad, I’m so damn happy.

This is a toast to life, both yours and mine! There is so much to celebrate.

We will eat cake the next time I see you!

Happy birthday, dad.  I hope you get to blow out a few candles.

Birthday Party (Meet and Greet)

29 Tuesday Sep 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in writing

≈ 74 Comments

Tags

birthday, blog, bloggers, link exchange, meet and greet, party, Wordpress

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I am taking the day off to have a party. What can you give me as a present?

Leave a link to your blog in the comment section and visit a few new blogs.

And if you really want to make me happy, have some chocolate.

See you later in the week when I will be older and wiser.

Getting Older – Getting Better

17 Thursday Sep 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

alive, appearance, birthday, fifty, getting older, health, hope, inspiration, life, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, psychiatry, psychology, schizophrenia, vanity, writing

My fiftieth birthday is in two weeks. I know that some people look back at high school or college as the best part of their lives. My illness was growing during those years, and I wasn’t really happy. I don’t feel like the best part of my life is behind me. I feel like the best part of my life is unraveling here and now. I am living it.

I know that some of my symptoms are getting worse with age. I know that others are fading into the background. I know that after I had to give up my dreams of being a poet in my late twenties, because medication made it impossible to write, that over the past year I have reclaimed that dream and published many poems, articles and essays. I know that my husband and I are starting to dream and make plans for his retirement. I know we talk about buying another van and setting off to discover America again (last time we discovered ourselves in the process).

I am at a point in my life where my women friends seem to spend more and more time at the hairdresser, at the nail salon, the gym, and trying to get the best selfie for their social media accounts. I don’t really care much about those things. I am not overly concerned with getting older or looking younger. Maybe, because of the battles I have had to fight, and the obstacles I have had to overcome, I am growing into my own –comfortable to be who and how I am at this point in time. Sure, I would love to be thinner, and I wish I had the hair of my youth, but I’m not going to spend much time or money to make either of those things happen and I’m certainly not going to give up the pleasure of my favorite foods for vanity’s sake (if my weight were a health issue, I would reconsider).

I am going to turn fifty in two weeks and I feel better than ever. If I could share some wisdom with younger people, it would be: I have discovered that most things really do get better with age, and the things that don’t, don’t really matter – not one of them has to do with living a good life, or a life well lived.

I am so thankful to be alive.  Fifty, I welcome you.

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