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How Can We Talk About Issues? Trigger Warnings And Demeaning Language

19 Tuesday Jan 2016

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, Uncategorized, writing

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

Anne Lamott, Art, caitlyn jenner, college, damaging, emotional, language, LGBTQ, mental illness, mentally ill, people of color, POC, politically correct, the atlantic, trigger warnings, writer, writing

I spent some time with my niece this weekend, and she sent me an article to read about the language being challenged on many college campuses. In the article, the writer points out that in the 1980’s and 1990’s, we had a movement that pushed politically correct language – to change language that was considered demeaning to marginalized populations. If the writer of the article is correct, today there is a movement on college campuses not to use words that are “emotionally damaging” to students. This movement has made it necessary to put “trigger warnings” on some of the classics and to pull some books and ideas from classrooms altogether. Many teachers are not allowed to talk about rape or violence.

If you want to read the article you can find it here. It is interesting, and I recommend it.

What I came away with is if you are a considerate person (not looking to harm or offend anyone) then it is difficult to talk about a myriad of issues without feeling insecure. It is almost easier not to say anything than to discuss these issues/topics and have a constructive, educational debate where both parties may learn from each other’s position.

I know I often feel fearful about talking about race. Recently, I have felt fearful writing about disability (even though I have a disability). I don’t feel completely comfortable talking about LGBTQ issues, and I occasionally even shy away from gender issues. Add those issues to the now “emotionally damaging” issues and you have a wide range of topics/issues that create fear and silence.

Taking books out of the curriculum and having people feel uncomfortable to begin even a conversation isn’t going to move us forward. Moving forward requires reading, talking, debating, and writing. If people are not willing to do any of those things, we will be stuck. There will be no progress.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a rant about Anne Lamott’s words about Caitlyn Jenner and about using the phrase manic depressive to describe someone who clearly wasn’t mentally ill. You can find my rant here. I want to apologize to her. I don’t want to silence her. I want her to make her mistakes openly and let there be a public discussion around them (which is what happened when she made an inappropriate comment about Caitlyn).

We need people to be fearless. We need people to talk about the issues surrounding marginalized populations, rape, violence, etc. We need these discussions. We can’t pull books, stop talking about negative social issues (rape and violence) and make others feel backward and stupid for not knowing the correct language to use to address a minority group.

I don’t know what to do about the censoring of “emotionally damaging” language. I am not a part of academia. I can read articles, talk to young people, and try to educate myself about what is happening there. I can speak out when I have more knowledge about it.

I do know what to do about speaking about marginalized groups, though. Those of us who are a part of a marginalized group need to let people talk without being defensive. We need to allow people to make mistakes. If it turns out that those mistakes are being made from a lack of education (not malice), then we need to either point them out gently or take the time to build a relationship with the person. In other words, we need to influence people over time not shame them and run.

I consider myself an advocate for people with severe mental illnesses. I consider myself an ally to those people who identify as LGBTQ. I consider myself an ally to people of color. I am a woman and support gender equality. No matter how passionate I am about any of these things, I want to remember compassion and gentleness for all people not just the ones I am trying to support.

Language is in trouble. Communication is in trouble. Books and essays are in trouble. Teachers are in trouble.

Silence isn’t going to bring us a society without rape or violence or a society that automatically supports the marginalized. That takes art and communication. Let’s support the fearless that are unafraid to step out and make mistakes so there can be conversations because it is those conversations that help open all of our minds.

 

 

If You Were To Make Me A Character In Your Writing, What Would You Say?

28 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, schizophrenia, writing

≈ 22 Comments

Tags

author, college, creative nonfiction, delusions, disability, mental illness, mentally ill, paranoia, psychiatry, psychology, reality, schizophrenia, symptoms, writer, writing

I am taking a creative nonfiction class online from UCLA. One of the students in the class wrote an essay about himself and a relative or friend of his, whose name is, Richard. I loved the way the author of the story described Richard – wearing a helmet, slapping his hands to his head, wringing his hands, excited hoots and hollers. By the way that the author described Richard it was obvious to the reader that Richard had a disability of some kind, but the author never labels Richard, and he never discloses the disability. Richard is just a person with unique characteristics.

This made me think about my illness. How would another writer describe me, letting the reader know that I have a disability, but never naming the disability? What would be written? What could a writer say about my behavior that might help a reader guess that I have schizophrenia without spelling it out?

Of course, the writer could make it easy, and say that I was talking to voices that no one else could see, but that wouldn’t be an accurate portrayal of my everyday life.

The writer could also tell the readers that I believe some elaborate conspiracy theory about aliens, or a secret government agency, but again, that wouldn’t be an accurate portrayal of my everyday life.

In order to be true to my real experience. The author would have to know me very well, or be a very keen observer, in order to detect my symptoms and describe them accurately to a reader.

This imaginary writer, who is writing about me, without labeling me, but wanting the reader to know I have a disability, would probably start out by having me eating a meal. S/he could say that I thought my food tasted funny and have me end up either pushing my food around my plate pretending to eat a little bit of it, or changing my plate of food for whatever my husband may have ordered.

The writer could have my husband and I traveling on an airplane. I might be visibly agitated. My husband trying to do everything to distract and comfort me. I may end up taking a pill and later calming down enough to play hangman with my husband or read an article.

The writer might have me at a conference, or with a group of people and then follow me home, where I can’t get comfortable. I walk between my bedroom and my living room. I curl up on my bed for a few minutes and then get up and go to the computer to check my e-mail. Nothing I do seems to make me happy. I am agitated. I may end up taking a pill and going to sleep for half of an hour. I wake up and I no longer need to move from room to room.

No matter how the writer described me, if s/he was true to my daily experiences, then it is doubtful that the reader would guess that my  disability is schizophrenia.

I find both joy and sorrow in this reality. I find joy knowing that my illness isn’t easily identifiable, I find sorrow knowing that the stereotypes are so ingrained in our culture that few if any could recognize a severe mental illness if they had a description of symptoms described to them.

Like Richard, I am just a unique character, that needs no label. I hope a writer would handle me with so much affection, compassion, and care.

The Internet for the Mentally Ill

24 Thursday Sep 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, relationships, schizophrenia

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Art, benefits, bipolar, college, computers, creativity, current affairs, depression, friends, history, Internet, medications, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, network, photography, psychiatrist, psychology, schizophrenia, school, social isolation, symptoms, therapist, triggers

I was talking to my psychiatrist about my how I socially isolate and he said that he knew people frequently disregarded social media as a place to build real relationships because there is the tendency for people to be inauthentic on social media – only presenting their good side. But he suggested that for people with a mental illness it could be the difference between interacting and not interacting with people. I know for me, the majority of the time, I am in a room by myself writing, reading, or participating on social media.

When I was first diagnosed with a mental illness back in the 90’s the Internet was just starting to be popular and it was very expensive (you paid by the hour for services like AOL), it was dial-up and very slow compared to today.  Businesses were just starting to build websites and people communicated in chat rooms.

I’ve lived with a severe mental illness for over two decades and in that time I have seen the opportunities for people with all kinds of mental health issues explode on the Internet.  Here are fourteen of the most obvious ways that the mental health community can benefit from the Internet.

  1. You can email your doctor
  2. You can keep a blog to document your history (to share with a therapist or psychiatrist)
  3. You can track your symptoms
  4. You may be able to discover what triggers your symptoms
  5. You can write down your daily thoughts in order to help you with your memory later
  6. You can make friends
  7. You can communicate with others
  8. You can join a support group
  9. You can use it to network
  10. You can help others
  11. You can develop your creativity (photography, art, writing)
  12. You may be able to find work
  13. You can take classes or earn a degree
  14. You can educate yourself about your illness, or current affairs, or almost anything

These are the most obvious benefits that wide use of the Internet has brought to people with mental illnesses who may be isolated socially. I have used the Internet in all of these ways, and I am comfortable saying that the Internet has improved the quality of my life tremendously and afforded me opportunities I wouldn’t be able to handle otherwise. I am currently working toward a certificate in creative nonfiction from a great school (UCLA), I am working at developing a career as a writer, I am networking with other writers, I communicate with people from all over the world, and I read stories and news daily.

Many people see the negative side of having computers be such a big part of our lives, but I would say for the mentally ill and the mental health community, it has opened so many doors that may have been impossible twenty years ago.

It may be true that many people are not authentic on social media and those relationships often lack depth, truth and meaning, but I think if you pan for the gold that is among the rocks and sand you are bound to find it. I’ve found it, chunks of it are everywhere.

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