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Coping With Fear

05 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by A Journey With You in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized, writing

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

congress, dentist, doctor, fear, hope, inspiration, John McCain, mental illness, paranoid schizophrenia, POW, public servant, schizophrenia], Senator, terror, torture, Vietnam

I assume all human beings have fears. I don’t know if it is my personality or my illness that causes me to experience such high levels of fear. At the doctor’s office, my pulse goes up to somewhere around 120. My doctor jokes that I am running a marathon in his office. Seriously, though I had to buy a pulse and blood pressure monitor to check my pulse and blood pressure at home to make sure that the numbers at the doctor’s office are not my normal range. I’m happy to report that at home, I have much healthier numbers.

I have been preparing to go to the dentist all week. My dentist is fantastic, his hygienist is so compassionate and kind and yet, I still get anxious and fearful about going to the dentist (not quite as bad as going to the doctor).

Last night I was talking to my husband about my fears and I said to him, “Do you know how I get through my fear of the dentist? I think about Senator John McCain and what he went through in Vietnam. I tell myself, I will never in my life have to experience something so horrible, awful, hateful, loveless, terrifying, or painful as torture. Look at Senator McCain. He survived one of the worst things humans do to one another and went on to help lead our country.”

It may not make sense to many people, but John McCain’s experience is the reason I can do things that terrify me. Many people support and are inspired by Senator McCain. He has had a very successful political career, and he manages to work successfully with Republicans and Democrats (an amazing thing in this divisive Congress). There is much to admire about him.  I like him as a politician, but that isn’t what inspires me about him.

His experience as a POW (prisoner of war) makes me feel like I can overcome my fears. He is a personal hero to me because he is who I hold up as someone who is alive that has more courage, strength and ability to recover, and then thrive, even after spending five and a half years dealing with continuous abuse and trauma.

I don’t know what level of fear you have, but if you are willing to listen to someone wracked by fear, then may I suggest you keep the name John McCain in your bag of coping skills?

I doubt that Senator McCain will ever know that the worst part of his life helps a mentally ill woman do things she may not otherwise be able to do. I don’t know if he would even understand or care about such things, but the great thing about public servants is they are public and holding one up as my guide to overcoming fear is allowed.

It’s not only allowed, in my world, but it is also encouraged.

 

The Power Is Yours

03 Thursday Dec 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in hope, Uncategorized, writing

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

be the change, California, congress, gun violence, inspiration, mass shootings, politician, politics, power, shooting, terror, terrorism, Voice, writing

 

There are times in our lives when we have to stop and look outside of ourselves. We have to put down our morning coffee and say, “I am tired of the status quo. I want to make a difference in this world. Things have to change.”

Today is one of those days. I am sure it is one of those days for many Americans. This year alone there have been 355 mass shootings in our schools, theaters, streets, and homes. I used to be afraid to go to Mexico because of the violence there, now I question getting on a bus or going to the zoo. Our streets have become a war zone and the casualties are mounting every day. If today is like most days this year, there will be another shooting today with more innocent lives brutally taken.

It is easy to put back in our earbuds and play our favorite music. It is easy to get out our cellphone and take a selfie on our way to work or to meet a friend. It is easy to close our eyes and think there is nothing I can do about this. It is easy to say, “I am helpless.”

The truth is you are not helpless. Changing this violence takes a few minutes of your time. There are things you can do to make a difference. Pick up the phone and call your local representative today. Pick up the phone and call your senators today. Tell them all that you want a sensible and immediate response to gun violence (the most obvious is background checks). Did you know even people that are on our “Don’t Fly” list in the United States can easily buy guns online and from gun shows? It is true and it is outrageous.

The other thing you can do is register to vote, and actually do it. Get out there and vote for someone who promises to address this issue. This is a time in your life that you can actually do something.

I have learned in this life that I am not powerless. I have money to spend (did you know every dollar you spend is a vote for something? If you buy it, that tells corporations, that you are okay with the place it is made, the way the workers are treated, the resources that were used to create it, etc. Money is a powerful vote). I also have a telephone and e-mail and write and call my elected officials regularly. (Does this make a difference? Yes, it does). I have a vote in every election and I get to the polls and I cast it.

There are other ways that I am powerful too. If I say that I care about climate change, then it is up to me to change my life – eat less meat, use public transportation, buy local, recycle, etc.

Our daily choices make so much more difference than we can ever imagine. Our daily choices impact corporations, politicians, the environment, and in this case, our action can be the voice of all those innocent lives. Those people who died deserve our voice and deserve our time.

How often in our lives do we get to say, “I did something that actually saved people’s lives?”

Here is a link to find the numbers for your senators and here is the link to find the number for your representatives. A few phone calls, a few e-mails – change is ours to help create.  No more status quo – today is one of those days.

 

Advocacy: The Time is Now

19 Wednesday Aug 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

activist, advocacy, Advocate, bill, bipolar, congress, depression, governement, hospital, inpatient treatment, letter, mental health, mental health reform, mental illness, mentally ill, psychiatry, psychology, psychosis, schizophrenia, words

I wrote a letter to my representative in Congress about the Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act. After I wrote to her, I read the bill in its entirety, and discovered it is a pretty good bill, but it has a couple of things that alarm me.

Changing the rules regarding HIPPA is a concern for me. I think allowing anyone access to another person’s medical information leaves too much room for abuse. In a previous post, I explained how my husband and I get around confidentiality in terms of my treatment by signing a waiver to allow my husband access to my medical information and the opinions of my doctors. We always arrange this as soon as we see a new doctor so that the doctor can keep the paperwork on file, in case anyone questions him/her about talking to my husband.

My other concern is a part of the bill that funds outpatient treatment. I’m not sure exactly how this would work but somehow “they” could force people to take their medications in order for the mentally ill person to live in the community.  It is called Assisted Outpatient Treatment or AOT. In theory I agree with this because I know that frequently if people would comply with their medications they would function at a higher level, and be able to keep their housing and possibly avoid a crisis. I said I was concerned about this but I am by no means completely opposed to it. I just worry about how this would actually work when transferred from paper to the real world.

I want to see more psychiatric beds available across the country and I pointed this out to my representative. There simply aren’t enough (not even close) beds for those that need this level of treatment.  I would like to see a big portion of the money go to inpatient treatment facilities.

I also wrote that it would be nice if mentally ill people were asked these questions and helped to draft these bills instead of always listening to families and advocates. I pointed out that many mentally ill people are capable of adding input and experiences about things that will ultimately impact their/our lives. I wrote this because I saw that the bill had the support of some advocacy groups that I find very offensive and questionable in terms of the rights of the mentally ill and in terms of how they present issues regarding the mentally ill. I can think of one advocacy group in particular that perpetuates the worst possible stigma surrounding severe mental illness almost daily in their social media.

I let my representative know that I am available to talk, e-mail, come to her office, etc. I have no idea if she would ever take me up on this, but it would be great if she did.

If you have a chance to read the bill, I encourage you to do so. You can find it online. If you love it, hate it, agree with parts of it, or disagree with the whole thing, I suggest you write your representative. Now is the time to be heard.  Even if you don’t agree with me, your voice is important. All of our voices are important.

This is one of those times when we can be heard about the mental health system in this country. It is time to stop complaining about the broken system and take action to fix it.  There is power in your words, experiences, and circumstances – use your power to make a difference.

Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act

17 Monday Aug 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in caregivers, mental illness

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

acitivist, advocacy, Advocate, bill, congress, family, government, helping families in mental health crisis act, hospitals, involuntary treatment, law, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, parents

Family members and people who are advocates for the legal rights of the mentally ill are not always on the same team, and I am not always on the same team as either one of them.

Here is an article by a mother supporting the new bill before Congress, the Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act.

Here is an article by legal advocates who do not support the bill. 

I have to admit, that I often do not see eye to eye with family members and the laws they want to get passed. I don’t agree with number 4 (in the first article) which would give caregivers and parents access to more information regarding the person in treatment.

For me, when I see a new doctor, I always sign a waiver allowing my husband access to all information regarding me. I want my doctor to feel free to talk to my husband about all aspects of my care in an emergency. I don’t, however, want anyone else to have that right. The only person I want to be able to make decisions about my mental health treatment is my husband. I do not want a treatment facility to release any information about my care to anyone else under any circumstances. If my husband is unable to make decisions along with my doctor, I would rather make these decisions on my own with my doctor even if I am not well.

I may not agree with all the issues of legal advocates either. For example, I recently did an interview with a feminist magazine and I mentioned that the law, as it currently stands in some states, about involuntary treatment should be changed to a lengthier amount of time. I think if someone is admitted involuntarily because they pose a risk to themselves or others that a hospital should be able to hold them longer than seventy-two hours. My reasoning behind this is that it often takes longer than seventy-two hours for psych medications to start working. I think someone at risk should be held a minimum of one week (I think a little longer would be better, but the extra four days may prove to save some lives).  This probably isn’t a popular position to the legal advocates of the mentally ill, but it makes perfect sense to me, someone who knows the difference a few days can make in terms of psychosis and stability.

Most other details of the law (spelled out clearly here), I am in support of with the exception of what I mentioned in my first paragraph and number 6 which limits the powers of national advocacy programs. The example they use for the provision of this change in policy is an advocate that told a mentally ill man what he needed to say to be released from care. He was released from care, and then murdered his mother. I think the person who counseled that man was unethical and negligent, but I don’t think all national advocacy programs interactions with the mentally ill should be changed because of one case.

Please feel free to comment/debate in the comment section. I am definitely open to hearing your opinions.

Be an Activist for the Mentally Ill

03 Sunday May 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in bipolar, mental illness, schizophrenia

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

acitivist, Advocate, bipolar, compassion, congress, mental health, mental illness, politics, psychiatry, schizophrenia, voices

I’m fortunate.

Yes, I have paranoid schizophrenia, but I count myself as one of the lucky ones.

I have a supportive husband. I have a supportive family. I have supportive friends.

Those facts make me extremely fortunate and help keep me on medications that work for me.

Talk about luck.

I am not treatment resistant.

Recently, I have read about people who do all they can to get well, and they still hear voices.

That terrifies me and hurts me so deeply I can barely breathe when I think of it.

I know what it is like to hear voices. I know how it cuts you off from the world, and how it can feel so terrifying you believe you have died and gone to hell (I don’t say that to be dramatic. The voices can be so terrifying, and your thoughts can be so frightening it is possible to really believe you have been sent to hell).  And if you end up believing you have been sent to hell, you wonder what it is you did to get there, and you are certain you will never get out.

That is hopelessness; terrifying voices that will never stop. Situations like that are all too real for people with schizophrenia, they are what drive us to suicide, or the voices tell us to commit suicide, which has happened to me several times.

There has to be something we can do for those people suffering from schizophrenia that are treatment resistant, or don’t have access to treatment. We must find a way to ease some of their suffering, some of their fear, some of their confusion and pain.

I ask myself, when I am in the middle of a psychotic episode, what do I need more than anything? The answer is comfort and safety.

I am going to ask all of you who live in the United States to do something, and it should not take more than five minutes. Please write your congressperson an e-mail, you can find them here: http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/

In your e-mail, ask them to put more funding aside for mental health. You don’t have to say more than that. A quick e-mail that lets them know you want to see the issue of mental health addressed in this country. Contacting your congressperson can really work. You can call them if you don’t want to send an e-mail. I call them regularly.

Have you ever given a dollar to someone who was talking to themselves on the street? There is a good chance that person, the one gesturing and carrying on a private conversation, has schizophrenia.  Have you ever wondered what you could do for that person so they wouldn’t have to live in such terrible circumstances, and didn’t need to beg for money?

I know what you can do, and it is worth more than a dollar bill. It could be worth people’s lives. Call someone in Washington D.C. and let them know you care about the mentally ill and their plight.

I am fortunate.

I plan to use that good fortune to help stop the voices for those that medication would actually work for if they had access to it, and to help comfort those who it does not.

Be the voice that saves a life from voices that could end it.

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