Tag Archives: create

Thoughts For The Day

06 Sunday Mar 2016

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I am thinking about a couple of things today.

Physical health:

I am sick and when I am sick it is hard to focus on anything but the feeling of being sick. On days like this, it is easy to feel grateful for all the days that may not go the way you wanted them to but at least you were or are physically well.

 

Relationships:

It is easy to take people who you see every day for granted. It is easy to assume they will always be there and always feel the same way about you as they do today. Last night for the first time in my almost eighteen years of marriage it occurred to me that it is possible for my husband to fall out of love with me. Many times I have thought about the possibility of something happening to him, but this was the first time I thought that maybe there would be a time when he would discover that he wanted to be alone or with someone else.  The thought of it broke my heart, but it did something else, too. It made me realize to pay close attention to the things my husband says, to listen when he talks, to care about the things he cares about, and to try and create long-term dreams together that we can both see ourselves in the future together.

My thoughts are not new or original, but something to think about on a Sunday afternoon that might give you an idea that makes you feel more gratitude, create more dreams, or be more loving and attentive to the people in your life.  These things are all good to consider this day or any other.

Make A Wish

04 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized, writing

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Things that seem small can have an impact on all of us. Doing small things with a big and open heart can change the world.

On our recent trip to Seattle, we were introduced to the Wishing Tree.   We talked to the couple that started the tree and it was inspirational to hear how this simple concept has changed and enriched their lives.

Every day people write their wishes, hopes, dreams, and things they are grateful for on index cards and then leave the card in a jar by the Wishing Tree. At night, the cards are removed from the jar, laminated and strung with ribbon from the pipes that hang from the Wishing Tree.

The couple that has the tree on their property said the tree has helped bring their community together. They also said that reading the cards put their lives into perspective and helps keep them balanced and humble.

We read some of the wishes on the tree. People wish for health, peace, love, luck, and everything else you can imagine. Some wishes are heartfelt and deep while others are more light-hearted and playful.

One thing about living as someone with schizophrenia is I always want to give people hope. I want people to believe that things can get better, that a new treatment might be right around the corner, that the voices or symptoms will stop, or even the hope that there may someday be a cure for those of us who struggle with a mental illness.

You may be wishing for a partner. You may be wishing for a medication that works. You may be wishing for a job. You may be wishing for relief from symptoms. You may be wishing for a friend. Whatever it is you are wish for, my dream for you is that you find it.

You don’t have to travel to Seattle for your wishes to be known by others, you can leave them here if you want to, or you can write them on a piece of paper and pin them to a bulletin board.

I hope we can all create something like the Wishing Tree that makes a difference in the lives of those who encounter it. There are so many ways to brighten another person’s life – let’s find those ways and get to work building a better life for all of us.

 

Dust Off Your Dreams And Take The First Step

15 Friday Jan 2016

Posted by in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, writing

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I bought a pair of boots on Etsy as one of my Christmas presents. I think they are fabulous. They are black cowboy boots and the artist who made them glued a purple lace flower on the tip of each boot. They have carnation pink lace, and one boot has a pink felt belt looped around it. They both have black, pink and white flower fabric on them.

The boots are on a shelf in the hallway by my front door. Every time I go out, I see them. I have only worn them once. They are gathering dust.

My boots are like dreams.

What colorful, creative, dreams do you have tucked on a shelf in your life? What passion, hope, joy is gathering dust in your life?

I started this blog ten months ago. I have written on it all but thirteen days. It hasn’t always been easy to come up with an idea, but I have worked hard and loved the process. Many times I told myself, “Just keep going.”

Yesterday, I was offered a job writing articles about schizophrenia for a mental health site. It is a part time job. It won’t pay the rent, but it will buy my coffee and help pay for my Internet and phone bills.

When I started ten months ago, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I knew there were certain magazines that I dreamed of having  publish my work. I knew I needed a paycheck. Since that time, I am 1/3 of the way through school. I have posted over 250 short essays on A Journey with You. I have posted 26 essays on Psych Central. I have had 8-10 essays published by The Mighty. I have three essays published in Role Reboot. I have one essay published in Manifest Station. I had three writers interview me for magazine articles (on Christmas Eve, my story was in People). I have written guest blogs, and essays for other mental health sites. I have had poetry and tributes published.

And then yesterday, I was offered money in exchange for articles.

Money isn’t the only reason I write. I write to bring understanding and hope to people who are touched by mental illness particularly schizophrenia. I write because I like to think of ideas and put them into sentences and try to form a coherent essay. I write because it heals me. I write because it helps me figure out who I am and my place in the world. I write to reach out to people and not feel so alone in this world. I write because it is a dream of mine to be a writer.

So, please go to the hallway of your heart and mind, pick out those colorful dream boots, dust them off and put those babies on. It has been said a million times, “If I can do it, you can too.” I have my boots on while I type this. And I am waiting for you. Your dreams are waiting too.

Come on, put your socks on and put your feet in and start walking toward your destiny. I’ll walk with you if you don’t mind me wearing the most colorful boots you’ve ever seen.

Dreaming Past Schizophrenia

25 Thursday Jun 2015

Posted by in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, writing

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Who can hope when they never know when the darkness will arrive?

I have a key that I wear around my neck. My husband bought it for me in a shop in Seaport Village. The word, CREATE, is stamped on the key. It was made by the homeless in Los Angeles as a program to help get people off the street. The key came with instructions. I am supposed to wear it until what I am hoping for, working towards, or dreaming about, comes true. Then I am supposed to give the key to someone else so they can wear it until their hopes, dreams, etc. come true. After giving away the key, I am supposed to write my story about the key and who I have given it to and why (they have a website for tracking keys and their stories, also they have other words to choose from besides, create).

The first few months I had the key it sat in its original powder blue box on our counter. I thought about giving it to one of my writer friends. Every day I would look at the box and think, I should wear that, or I should give it away.

About six weeks ago, I took the key and chain out of the box and put it around my neck. I’m not used to dreaming about things that I can accomplish. My illness and the consequences of bad choices, have kept me from having too many hopes or dreams.

Shortly after putting the necklace on, I sat down on my office chair with the chain around my neck and the key in my hand staring at the word, CREATE.  “What do I most want to create?” I asked myself. The answer was simple, “Essays. Not poetry, the lost dream of my pre-schizophrenia days. Even though I have published a fair amount of poems, I want to write essays.” I answered myself.

The desire to write essays is relatively new to me. I always dreamed of being a poet. I wrote my first nonfiction piece in graduate school about fifteen months ago and it was very well received. I started falling in love with nonfiction at that time.  My dream was to write a memoir about living with schizophrenia. I had that dream for months. I went to workshops about memoir, and I hired a writing coach. I entered a piece of the writing I was working on in a competition where the winning pieces would be performed as monologues in a theater. My piece was accepted and will be performed next Tuesday.

During the writing of the memoir, I published a short book of essays and poems about my life, mostly about living with schizophrenia. After the publication of the book, I started to lose all interest in finishing my memoir.

Now when write, I work on essays. I am having pretty good luck getting my essays published too.  I have a dream of writing ten publishable essays over the next ten or eleven weeks. I have a short bucket list of publications that are my ultimate dream of getting accepted in.

For the first time that I can remember, I am starting to dream. It feels hopeful, bright, and good.

Once in a while I jump way ahead of myself and think about the story I will write when I give the key away.  Back up, slow down, one word at a time.