• About

A Journey With You

~ surviving schizophrenia

A Journey With You

Tag Archives: creative

A Seismic Shift

19 Thursday Apr 2018

Posted by A Journey With You in bipolar, caregivers, hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

classes, creative, creativity, hope, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, schizophrenia], writer, writing

Along with many other people, I am a person who is always trying to make myself better. I don’t want to stagnate in my relationships, my learning, my life. I would consider myself a life-long learner, a phrase I first heard my uncle use approximately three decades ago.

Since I graduated from college, I have almost always been in one kind of class or training program. I graduated from college with a BA in Liberal Arts in 1989 and since that time I have taken diversity training, non-profit organization training, numerous writing classes, a year-long leadership training program, a culinary arts program, etc.

Occasionally throughout the years, there has been a teacher, a statement, an exercise that has changed the course of my life. I can name these people, quotes, and experiences on two hands. Last night I had one of those experiences in a class I am taking online from Lidia Yuknavitch.

When I received my first diagnosis of bipolar disorder in my twenties, I spent a lot of time romanticizing the illness. I thought maybe having bipolar disorder made me more creative or more intelligent, or unique in other ways. I spent many days reading about famous people with the disorder.

At nearly forty, when I received a diagnosis of schizophrenia, I didn’t romanticize the illness at all. Schizophrenia, unlike bipolar disorder, is rarely romanticized in writing, or in the media. I adapted an attitude that many people have about mental illness in general which is that people who are creative would be creative with or without the illness and it is possible that if they weren’t sick, they would be far more productive. I adapted this attitude because it was far better than the messages society gave about schizophrenia.

I internalized some of those societal messages, too. In other words, I could find a silver lining in being someone with bipolar disorder, but I only saw hardship and struggle in the diagnosis of schizophrenia.

Last night, for the first time since my diagnosis over a decade ago, this attitude shifted a little bit. Some of my internalized stigmas shook loose, and I looked at schizophrenia a bit differently than I ever have in the past.

Just to let you know, Lidia Yuknavitch is a bestselling author. She is magnetic in her beliefs and has an amazing spirit of creativity, and wildness. She is generous and kind, and she wrote the book, “The Misfit’s Manifesto.” (I recommend that anyone with a mental illness read this book to find acceptance and a way forward despite what society tells you.)

So, what did Lidia say to me last night that shifted my perspective? I can’t quote her exactly, but she said that I have characters, voices, and things to write because of schizophrenia that no one else can write and that there is deep creativity in that.

I don’t like that I once romanticized bipolar disorder. And I don’t want to romanticize any mental illness, but when you live with a diagnosis that so many people consider the “worst” thing that can happen to you and someone you respect says that that illness gave you a gift in a way you care deeply about, you take it.

You take it, you look at it, you circle it, you inspect it, and you write as you have never written before because gosh darn no one has ever said anything positive about schizophrenia, and you heard it. You heard it from her.

Writing Beyond Our Illnesses

29 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by A Journey With You in bipolar, caregivers, hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized, writing

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

anxiety, Art, bipolar, creative, creativity, essay, happiness, hope, inspiration, journey, mental health, mental illness, schizophrenia], write, writer, writing

A few months ago I wrote a piece for a non-profit organization about living with schizophrenia. In the piece, I said that I thought writing was an important therapeutic tool: writing can help you document your symptoms so you can easily share them with your doctor. Writing can also help you work through difficult times, difficult memories, and help you gain valuable insight into yourself and your diagnosis.

After writing about the benefits of a writing practice, I wrote that eventually, I think that to be healthy people need to stop writing solely about their illness. The editors asked me to take that part of the essay out, stating that their readers almost all use writing to document their illnesses, and they might take offense to my suggestion that one can and should move beyond that.

I’m not talking about never writing about schizophrenia again. I plan to write about it as ideas come to me, but I feel like writing other stories, stories about my grandmother, my siblings, my childhood, things that are happening in the world, all of these things can be a necessary progression to living a happier and more fulfilling life.

I think a lot about my writing and I am sure other people who write think a lot about their writing, too. If my thoughts are almost always swirling around about the symptoms of my illness, it is my belief that more and more of my life will be that illness. If on the other hand, I create a love story, write down memories from childhood, or of my grandparents, then I believe my life will become richer and fuller as those thoughts take over part of my day and part of my life.

As advocates for people with a mental illness we are often trying to show people that we are more than our illness; I know I say it, and write it all the time. I think we need to live that in our creative lives as well and I think our mental health will increase because of it.

I like to read about people’s experiences involving their mental illnesses, but I also like to read about the type of flowers they like, their dream car, and whatever other things they care for or love. I even like to read fictional stories that they created out of their imaginations. This type of writing does a tremendous amount to normalize those of us living with a psychiatric diagnosis, and it also means we are thinking outside of our illness, and I think that is a sign of health and can lead to an experience of more happiness.

Happiness is not rare, but it isn’t always easy.

 

 

 

 

Thoughts For The Day

06 Sunday Mar 2016

Posted by A Journey With You in Uncategorized, writing

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

create, creative, creativity, dreams, health, hope, inspiration, joy, marriage, physical health, relationships, sick, sickness

I am thinking about a couple of things today.

Physical health:

I am sick and when I am sick it is hard to focus on anything but the feeling of being sick. On days like this, it is easy to feel grateful for all the days that may not go the way you wanted them to but at least you were or are physically well.

 

Relationships:

It is easy to take people who you see every day for granted. It is easy to assume they will always be there and always feel the same way about you as they do today. Last night for the first time in my almost eighteen years of marriage it occurred to me that it is possible for my husband to fall out of love with me. Many times I have thought about the possibility of something happening to him, but this was the first time I thought that maybe there would be a time when he would discover that he wanted to be alone or with someone else.  The thought of it broke my heart, but it did something else, too. It made me realize to pay close attention to the things my husband says, to listen when he talks, to care about the things he cares about, and to try and create long-term dreams together that we can both see ourselves in the future together.

My thoughts are not new or original, but something to think about on a Sunday afternoon that might give you an idea that makes you feel more gratitude, create more dreams, or be more loving and attentive to the people in your life.  These things are all good to consider this day or any other.

Piece By Piece Make Your Dreams Come True

05 Saturday Mar 2016

Posted by A Journey With You in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized, writing

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

Art, bipolar, creative, creative nonfiction, creativity, dream, essays, future, hope, inspiration, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, psychology, schizophrenia], writer, writing

Last night I opened my Facebook page, and I saw three posts on my timeline. One was from my stepbrother’s wife about a fire that had killed her friend’s young nephews. Another post was from a woman waiting to go to the hospital for a liver biopsy, and her only prayer was that the cancer hadn’t metastasized. The last one was from a man that is battling another form of cancer.

I saw many other tragic stories yesterday on social media. My conclusion? People are struggling and life is unpredictable and often short.

My husband and I are fifty and we both have serious health issues, and we frequently say to each other that our dream is to make it a few years into his retirement so we can spend our days together. He will retire in twelve years. It isn’t a given that both of us will make it to our golden years or fulfill our dream.

We need to find a way now, today, this moment to start living a piece of that dream every day. We can’t afford to wait twelve years for a future and dream that may never arrive.

At dinner every night we share the two best things that happened to us during the day. And this is a wonderful practice for looking over even a difficult day and finding something to be thankful for and pleased about. We need to find more practices like that. We need to find ways to carve out time together.

I am home every day. I can easily walk down to my husband’s office and have lunch with him a couple of times a week. I can also walk down a few evenings a week and pick him up so that we can spend the time riding the bus or walking home together.

I am going to think of other ways for us to spend time together and share conversations and bits and pieces of our lives.

If you are waiting for some time in the future to do the things you want to do, my suggestion is to find ways to incorporate your desires into your life right now. You may not be able to do all that you dream at once, but you can start in small ways, with small steps and small chunks of time. If you want to travel, but don’t have any vacation time and little money plan some weekend road trips. If you want to paint or draw or write more, spend less time on social media or less time watching Netflix and create the thing you long to create.

I once won an honorable mention in a short letter writing contest by sending in this, “When it is time to take my final breath, I want the words, thank you, to be on my lips.”

You don’t need to go far to realize that today may be the only day you have. It doesn’t matter if you have schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or any other illness or disability – get the most out of life that you can. Grab the opportunities. Follow the rainbow. Don’t let dreams gather dust. I believe we only get one chance, and I intend to make the most of it. Hop on my caravan and seize the day!

Make A Wish

04 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by A Journey With You in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized, writing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

create, creative, hope, inspiration, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, psychology, schizophrenia], seattle, wish, wishing tree, writing

Things that seem small can have an impact on all of us. Doing small things with a big and open heart can change the world.

On our recent trip to Seattle, we were introduced to the Wishing Tree.   We talked to the couple that started the tree and it was inspirational to hear how this simple concept has changed and enriched their lives.

Every day people write their wishes, hopes, dreams, and things they are grateful for on index cards and then leave the card in a jar by the Wishing Tree. At night, the cards are removed from the jar, laminated and strung with ribbon from the pipes that hang from the Wishing Tree.

The couple that has the tree on their property said the tree has helped bring their community together. They also said that reading the cards put their lives into perspective and helps keep them balanced and humble.

We read some of the wishes on the tree. People wish for health, peace, love, luck, and everything else you can imagine. Some wishes are heartfelt and deep while others are more light-hearted and playful.

One thing about living as someone with schizophrenia is I always want to give people hope. I want people to believe that things can get better, that a new treatment might be right around the corner, that the voices or symptoms will stop, or even the hope that there may someday be a cure for those of us who struggle with a mental illness.

You may be wishing for a partner. You may be wishing for a medication that works. You may be wishing for a job. You may be wishing for relief from symptoms. You may be wishing for a friend. Whatever it is you are wish for, my dream for you is that you find it.

You don’t have to travel to Seattle for your wishes to be known by others, you can leave them here if you want to, or you can write them on a piece of paper and pin them to a bulletin board.

I hope we can all create something like the Wishing Tree that makes a difference in the lives of those who encounter it. There are so many ways to brighten another person’s life – let’s find those ways and get to work building a better life for all of us.

 

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Categories

Top Posts & Pages

  • Psychosis? Pink Floyd and Alice in Wonderland
  • Blog Writers (Mental Health)
Follow A Journey With You on WordPress.com

A Journey With You

A Journey With You

Social

  • View A Journey With You’s profile on Facebook
  • View @wr8ter’s profile on Twitter
  • View Rebecca Chamaa’s profile on Pinterest

Most Popular Recent Posts

  • wegohealth.zoom.us/webina…

Blog at WordPress.com.