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Tag Archives: discrimination

Would You Hire Someone with Schizophrenia? Be Honest.

11 Saturday Nov 2017

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

disability, discrimination, editors, employment, mental health, mental illness, schizophrenia], stereotypes, stigma, the art world is different, words, work, writing

I’m slightly heartbroken. I haven’t written about this until now because I was trying to lay low about it, but I applied for a job and found out yesterday I didn’t get it. Initially, I applied for the job online. The company had me take a test. I found the test to be one of the more difficult I have taken for employment. I must have done well on the test because the company scheduled an interview. I interviewed and thought I did well. The company then set me up for a computer conference interview with two other employees. I thought that interview also went well. Part of the interview was another test. I didn’t do great on the test, but I didn’t bomb it either. In the years since I graduated from college, if I made it to the interview I almost always got the job.

I can’t help it, but I keep thinking there is a possibility that the company Googled my name and came up with dozens of articles about schizophrenia. This is the second time since I decided to disclose my diagnosis publicly that I have been turned down for jobs I was highly qualified for and after I went through lengthy highering practices.

I have tried working a few times in the last few years, and it hasn’t worked out, but this was a job I knew I could do. It was a work from home customer service job. I have years of experience working with the public in difficult situations.

It is possible that they found candidates that they thought fit the position better than I did, but the possibility that they discovered my diagnosis of schizophrenia and chose not to take a chance on me because of stereotypes and misconceptions, will never entirely leave my mind.

I wish I could find a part-time writing job because artists and editors tend to be less judgemental about mental illness than the general public. Also, I could work from home, be creative, and not worry about the symptoms that crop up on a daily basis.

I’m happy that the writing world works differently than the rest of the world – you pitch to an editor if they like your story they either tell you to write it on spec, or they buy it outright. I’m having a tough time selling enough articles to make a substantial paycheck, but I’m going to work harder at it now.  I feel like I am personally fighting stigma, disability, misconceptions, etc. and that has put a determination in me to succeed and say, “See, I told you, I am worthy. See, I told you I am worth it.”

I want to be one of the ones who can make a livable paycheck and have their dreams come true at the same time. Stay tuned – let’s make this happen.

Look for much more writing to come.

Not One of Us but All of Us

31 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by A Journey With You in bipolar, caregivers, hope, mental illness, relationships, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

acceptance, discrimination, hope, justice, LGBTQ, liberty, mental illness, racism, schizophrenia], social justice, staywoke, woke

Yesterday while I was on Facebook, a picture of a man dressed all in tinfoil popped up in my newsfeed. Above the picture a friend of mine wrote, “There sure is a huge population of unmedicated paranoid schizophrenics in this world–sadly, with the Internet, and social media, they now feed each others’ delusions. Maybe I’m just paranoid?”

When I first saw this post, it stung. The man who wrote the post is gay, and common sense would say that a person who belongs to a stigmatized and oppressed group would have sympathy and empathy for another group of people who face some of the same challenges.

In the black community, some people use the word “woke” or “staywoke” to mean being aware of the issues in the community. The word or phrase has recently become popular across the Internet and with teenagers. Although the original meaning had to do with racial issues, it has now morphed into meaning staying aware of social issues. An interesting progression of the use of the word or phrase is in Fusion.

I don’t think that I am “woke” about all social issues. I don’t always catch a racist situation on television or in other media. I am not the person who can point to every gender stereotype in a movie or book. I’m not always up to date on the issues that still put the LGBTQ community at risk of discrimination. The point is I try, though. I care about all people and their civil rights and their right to live and shop and be safe without harassment. I believe in liberty and justice for all.

How do I try? I listen. I read. I read books from people who are a part of these oppressed communities. I actively seek friends on social media that have different experiences than I do. I watch what they post. I read articles that are important to them. I try to become increasingly more educated, sensitive and aware.

I am not perfect, and I don’t expect anyone else to be perfect. I ask for patience from the people who belong to communities where I don’t yet know all of the correct language or all of the meaningful events happening that directly affect them. I am slow, but I am trying.

What I want to ask people from these various communities, and groups is, are you giving equal effort to others who face discrimination that you hope people give to you?

If you only care about the issues that affect you personally, don’t attack those who don’t care about the injustices you face, because that is hypocritical.  It’s all of us or none of us.

I would love to earn the badge of “woke” by a community I stand up for and stand beside but am not necessarily a member. I would love to give out the badge of “woke” to people who get it about mental illnesses and champion our cause.  Some of you are on my list of recipients. I hope more people will want to earn that honor.

  • Update: The person who posted the offensive comment and picture on Facebook has made a very public and formal apology. One more person, one more step closer to being woke. We can all help change the world one heart and mind at a time. Ready? GO!

New Post on Psych Central

23 Monday May 2016

Posted by A Journey With You in bipolar, caregivers, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized, writing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

advocacy, Advocate, artists, bipolar, Bob Dylan, discrimination, feminism, feminist, genius, mental health, mental illness, music, psychiatry, psychology, schizophrenia], stigma, writing

I have a new blog post up on Psych Central. It is about being an imperfect advocate. It mentions Bob Dylan, feminism, and stereotypes.

I hope you will pop over there and read it.

http://goo.gl/Ot4wtb

I Will Not Be Silent

31 Thursday Dec 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized, writing

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

advocacy, black, bully, discrimination, feminism, gay, inspirational, lesbian, LGBT, LGBTQ, mental illness, mentally ill, motivational, politically correct, racism, schizophrenia], transgender, writer, writing

I am not always sweet or kind when it comes to equality, discrimination, feminism, racism, and the treatment of the mentally ill.

I spend a good portion of every day on social media. One of the reasons I do that is to try to learn more about the intersection of mental illness with other marginalized populations. (I frequently find that I have a long way to go in understanding the best way to be an advocate for the mentally ill, women, people of color, and people who identify as LGBTQ). I’m not a perfect advocate for any cause, but I’m learning (as slow as that process is).

What I see on social media every day is that people like to feel good. They love to share cat videos, baby videos, and inspirational quotes. If you try to point out when someone has said something offensive, or ignorant, you can almost be sure that you will encounter a dismissive response like, “You are too sensitive” or “don’t take things so seriously.” I have seen a meme on Facebook that has made the rounds that says, “2015 will go down as the year that everyone took offense at everything.” I frequently hear people complain that everything has become too “politically correct.”

These dismissive responses are intended to silence the people who are speaking out. They allow people to go along with a status quo that they are comfortable living with because more often than not, that status quo benefits them in some way. If they were the ones being made fun of, put down, discriminated against, bullied, etc. then they would have a different experience (and one that can at times make people appear angry).

I like cat videos and baby videos. I also like inspirational and motivational quotes. That isn’t all the world is, though. I don’t have to feel good about everything. Injustices are happening daily and to turn our back on those injustices to make ourselves feel good is cowardly and insensitive. It also helps injustice to flourish.

We can’t always be polite, kind, silent, and agreeable. If we are going to address the tough issues that occur all around us every day, we need to speak out even if that makes people uncomfortable, even if it isn’t the “polite” thing to do. It may not be “polite” but it is just, and it is right.

I say some very unpopular things. I have lost some friends over it, but when it comes to erring on the side of “feel good” or the side of social justice and equality, I’m going to take a stand for the tough stuff even if that means I have fewer followers on Facebook.

I don’t mind making people uncomfortable. I am a person who is marginalized every day because of an illness in the same way that some people are marginalized for their skin color, or for their gender, or for their sexual orientation. None of us chose the things society uses to hold us back, see us as less than, or define us as “other.”

Because we didn’t choose these things, we are not to blame for them, and they are not wrong. I ask you to please not be among those who dismiss someone when they point out offensive speech, degrading comments, racist attitudes, jokes that were never funny, and bullying.

I know it isn’t as funny as a cat video or as uplifting as an inspirational quote. It is, however, the reality of millions of people, and I believe that we all want people to have the same chance to be safe, educated, employed, respected, valued, protected, and accepted as others. Who wouldn’t want that? Justice and equality are two of the most inspirational things that can exist. You can quote me on that.

 

Twenty Years With A Mental Illness: Have Things Changed?

20 Sunday Dec 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, writing

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

awareness, bipolar, blogs, celebrities, depression, discrimination, homeless, hope, inspiration, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, progress, schizoaffective, schizophrenia, stigma, Treatment, writing

I was first diagnosed with a mental illness in the early 90’s. At first my diagnosis was depression, then bipolar disorder, and then schizoaffective disorder and eventually paranoid schizophrenia. I think my final diagnosis was given to me in 2006 or 2007. But I have been living with a mental illness for over 20 years.

I’m an old timer. I’m old school. I’ve seen a thing or two and I am happy to report progress. There are certain aspects of being mentally ill that I would give an A to right now, and others I would give an F.

I know I frequently write about discrimination, stigma, need for more treatment (especially accessible treatment), homelessness, and the mentally ill in prison. All of the things I just listed are real, and they are very pressing and important issues, and I would give most of these areas a D or F if I were grading them.

I said I would give an A to some progress we have made about mental illness though, and that A would go to awareness. We have come so far in mental health awareness over the past 20 years.

When I was first diagnosed, there were therapy and group therapy and there was the organization NAMI. Those were really my only choices beyond my medication for talking about and learning about my mental illness. Now there are more organizations providing education and trying to raise awareness than I can count. There are new organizations springing up all the time and many of these organizations are set up around telling people stories about the lives of those living with a mental illness.

There are also huge sites like Psych Central, Psychology Today, and others, devoted to getting information out there about all the different mental illnesses.

There are online support groups. There is online therapy. There are more celebrities than ever coming out with their stories of addiction, bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression (I still don’t see too much about schizophrenia) and there are more movies, books and television shows being created with characters who are struggling with one or more of these illnesses.  And now there are blogs – thousands of online journals where people can read what it is like to have a mental illness from people who are actually living with one.

When I was first diagnosed, friends of mine who were doctors, told me not to tell anyone about my diagnosis. They thought people would judge me, and reject me. I only came out publicly with my diagnosis 9 months ago – the young psychiatrist that encouraged me to come out must have known the world had changed while I was in hiding. Well, I flung open the curtains and showed the world what it is like to have paranoid schizophrenia, and I have to admit, the world for the most part has been kind, compassionate, and accepting. I give us an A for progress in that area and although that’s not everything, I think it is something we can all celebrate.

This Week’s Psych Central Blogs

27 Friday Nov 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

bipolar, depression, discrimination, language, mental illness, mentally ill, Psych Central, psychotherapy, schizophrenia, stigma, therapy, writing

Today I wrote on my Psych Central blog about the use of language. The post is called, Language: Don’t Shame An Ally.  It is about the “schooling” I received at Thanksgiving dinner, and how it taught me how not to treat people that use derogatory words about mental illness.  If you have time, please read it and let me know what you think. Can you think of ways to help people understand how their language hurts us without shaming them?  I’m very interested in your thoughts.

Earlier this week, I wrote on Psych Central about talk therapy. The post is called, Talk Therapy To Treat Schizophrenia?  I have really strong opinions about this, but they are more from personal experience – my experience with therapy has been horrible, but I know it is a critical part of treatment for others. I don’t believe it is a complete treatment for schizophrenia though.  What do you think?

Are You Discriminated Against, Or Do You Discriminate?

15 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, relationships, schizophrenia, stigma

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

american, arab, christianity, criminals, discrimination, muslim, paris, schizophrenia, stereotypes, terror, terrorism, terrorists, writing

Not all Muslims are terrorists. Not all Arabs are Muslim.

Those of us with a mental illness, especially those of us who have schizophrenia, or who have been living with a mental illness for twenty years or more, know what it is like to be misunderstood, we know what it is like to be on the outside, we know what it is like to feel as if people fear us. So many people still think we are dangerous.

My husband was born Lebanese. Both of my husband and I went to an American high school in Cairo Egypt. My husband has lived in the United States for over thirty years. He got his citizenship the hard way – he filled out forms, jumped through hoops, waited years, learned our history, took a test, and swore allegiance to our country.

My husband has never missed an election in which he was eligible to vote. Voting to him is a privilege and a responsibility. My husband knows more about the American government than I do, and far more than the average person on the street. My husband shouldn’t have to prove his patriotism though. You shouldn’t have to be waving the American flag in order to be free from discrimination.

After 9/11 I watched my husband get stopped at every checkpoint. I watched him get questioned at every security gate that I walked right through. Now, with the attacks in France, I fear for my husband’s safety. He can’t hide where he was born. His passport clearly states he was born in Beirut. His skin is olive. His hair is black. Our name is Arabic.

There are days that I feel so deeply tired from trying to educate people about the realities of schizophrenia. I do this so the media will stop portraying people like me as mass shooters, as criminals, or as murderers. The tired I feel is the kind that keeps me in bed with the covers up over my head. I don’t feel tired when the press doesn’t differentiate between Muslims and terrorists, or between Arabs who are Muslim and Arabs who are Christian. I don’t feel tired at all, I feel fear. I feel a fear that the person I love most in the world is in danger.

The fear I feel has nothing to do with my illness. It is not paranoia taking over my mind. My husband and I have something terrible in common. The media and many people in America think that neither one of us can be trusted. They think we are dangerous. They think we are going to commit atrocities.

Both my husband and I are peace loving people. We try to protect both animals and humans. We are the type of people who will buy a stranger who is hungry a meal to eat. We weep at the suffering in the world and do our part to ease that suffering when we can.

Those of us who get stereotyped and judged should stand in solidarity with others who are judged and stereotyped. If we don’t stand up for the people who are treated unfairly how can we expect anyone to stand with us in return?

We need to educate ourselves about other people’s struggles. We need to try to be a force for good in the world, not just with the issues that concern us, but the issues that concern others. People are more likely to listen to us when we care about their stories, their experiences, and their hardships. Let’s occasionally give up being a mouth, and try on being an ear.

I Was Once Invisible

25 Sunday Oct 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma

≈ 27 Comments

Tags

crying, discrimination, fear, hope, injustice, inspiration, mental illness, psychology, psychotic, schizophrenia, shame, silence, stigma, Voice, writing

Before I hit the send button on these blog posts, I start to cry. If someone leaves me a supportive comment, I start to cry. If one of my articles is accepted, I start to cry. For the last seven months I have cried so easily. I often sit at the computer looking at a screen made a little fuzzy from eyes full of tears.

I realized yesterday, that I am letting go of twenty years of shame. I am letting go of twenty years of secrets. I am letting go of twenty years of humiliation, grief, and pain.

All those times at my job when people talked about a client with a mental illness, and how difficult they were, all those words that were used to describe those clients, like nuts, wacko, crazy, cuckoo, etc. I took all that into my spirit, into my psyche. “So, if they knew about me, and my illness, this is what they would think and say about me, too.” I thought to myself.

All those times I saw people talking to people and voices only they could see and hear, and I thought, “That could be me.”

All those times I heard jokes, saw movies, read books, and had no way to respond. All those times I kept my secret while I felt the burn of shame. All those times my husband and I had to hide our reality, and try to go on together after a psychotic episode, rebuilding our world alone.

For most of our marriage my husband and I lived in a bubble. We burst that bubble ourselves but the pressure and pain it caused is being released every day.

After nearly twenty years of having to shove my feelings somewhere deep inside, I can now respond to the stereotypes. I can respond to the language of dehumanization and all of the belittling of an illness that can be deadly and is nothing like the sensational beliefs most people hold. I can now point out when someone is being hurtful or furthering the stigma around schizophrenia.

After nearly two decades of being as tight as a pressure cooker with no way to release steam, I have a space. I have a place in this world, carved from my tears, where people can read about the injustice, the shame, the fear, and the pain.

I have a voice that is sometimes loud, sometimes soft, and sometimes crackly from lack of use. I have a voice and that means I am seen, recognized and validated in a world that often goes speeding by or where people spend time with their heads in their phones instead of looking each other in the eye.

I see that you see me, and that brings tears to my eyes.

Are There Limits To Your Advocacy?

17 Saturday Oct 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, relationships, schizophrenia, stigma

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

acitivist, advocacy, Advocate, bigotry, courage, disability, discrimination, equality, fear, gay, hate, injustice, inspiration, marriage, mental health, mental illness, mentalism, mentally ill, person of color, racism, relationships, schizophrenia, sexism, stigma, Voice, writing

I don’t want the people at my husband’s office to know that I have schizophrenia. I know that some of them already know, because I have come out so publically about it, but if I had my way none of them would know.

The reason behind this is sad but simple, I don’t want people to look at my husband and think   “Why would you marry a woman with schizophrenia?”

I am no fool. I know what the majority of people think about having a mental illness, and particularly schizophrenia. I know from experience that even knowing me doesn’t change the lifetime of stereotypes built up in most people’s minds.

I have written so many articles about the language we use that is degrading to people with a mental illness and I have “friends” (and boy, do I use that term loosely), who seem to delight in using that language more than ever. I know that these people’s thoughts are small. The fact that they make personal attacks against me is actually immature and lame. I think it is because I am now a threat. I study. I read. I call people out on racism, sexism, mentalism, and any other forms of hate and bigotry when I see it. I call them out, because injustice and discrimination against even one group is too many and there is an intersection between all inequality and injustice. The intersection for me is that I am a woman who has a disability. The intersection for someone else might be that they are a person of color with a disability, or they are gay and a person of color.

In any case, I am calling people out. I know people don’t like to be called out. They don’t like to think that they are the ones who are displaying ignorance, discrimination, and hatred publically and openly. I get it. I have become the voice that many people don’t want to hear. I’m that uncomfortable person who lets people know their jokes are offensive and not funny. I get their resentment. I get their desire to live in their current way of thinking. Change isn’t easy – it comes with a price.

I can’t imagine how lonely it is for some people who have stood up in the past, or that continue to stand up. I haven’t found my people yet, those people who understand exactly what I mean and what I am fighting for, and why it is important not to stereotype, demonize, or dehumanize any group of people. I have a feeling I’m closer to discovering my crowd – people that will take the risks necessary to make people uncomfortable, and force change.

The truth is I think that I have guts and courage when it comes to a lot of things, but I am a ragdoll without bones when it comes to people judging my husband. He doesn’t care about other people’s judgement. He doesn’t care if they don’t understand the depth of true love that really does honor the vow – in sickness and in health.

I have to tell you though, he’s my weak spot where advocacy is concerned and I want to hide my illness to protect him. For that, I feel like my advocacy has limits and that I am a coward.

The Helpers Don’t Always Help

25 Friday Sep 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, writing

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

bipolar, creative nonfiction, depression, discrimination, essays, helpers, helping professions, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, schizophrenia, social work, social workers, stigma, writing

I don’t know if it was being the youngest and only girl in a family of boys and men, or if it was growing up poor in a small town in Eastern Washington, or if it was spending my high school years seeing and living with the truly poor of Egypt, or if it was the liberal arts school I attended, any, or all, of those things could have instilled in me a desire for social justice, equality, compassion and empathy. It may have been all those things combined along with many experiences I had with people being outsiders, bullied, and discriminated against. Whatever the reasons were, I became a social worker after college and I like most social workers, I had a true desire to help people.

After several years as a social worker, I developed what those of us in my office called, “social worker humor and sensibilities.” Roughly translated that means I laughed and joked about situations that no one outside of my office would have found humor in because the stories were tragic and painful. In other words, my compassion and empathy developed callouses, because of the horrific stories I heard daily about child abuse, drug abuse, alcoholism, prostitution, and many other human tragedies that are a part of people’s lives.

So, when I say I have been humiliated and silenced by social workers, and medical professionals, I can honestly say, I have done their job, and I have participated in their “humor” and degrading remarks. It is very different when you cross the line from helper to client and back again.

What I learned as a client after my initial hospitalization was that the tough stuff people are going through is never funny and the degrading language that is used to describe people with personality disorders or a mental illness lessens your impact as a social worker. You can’t be giving your client the best services when you refer to that client as “wacko” “crazy” or “psycho” to your fellow co-workers or behind that client’s back.

For me, the big change in how I spoke about clients came for me when I was hospitalized for my mental illness and heard the nurses in the hallway talking.

“Did you see what she does for a living?  She works for Child Protective Services. She is a social worker. I wonder if we are going to end up like her?”

Those nurses’ comments were a defining moment in my career just as my own diagnosis was. I spent the rest of my time as a social worker listening to some colleagues call their clients, “crazy” “wacko” “nuts” etc. and what they didn’t realize was that I had paranoid schizophrenia and listening to them use disparaging language about their difficult or mentally ill clients made it impossible for me to find the courage to share with them my diagnosis, and it made me feel shame about an illness that is no more shameful than cancer or diabetes.

Although I kept my boundaries, I spent many years identifying with clients more than I identified with many of my fellow coworkers.

Of course not all mental health workers talk badly about their clients. I have worked with some professionals who understood and practiced complete advocacy on the part of their clients and never wavered from that advocacy even behind their client’s backs.

Personally, I didn’t realize that a life time of building up empathy, compassion, and a desire for social justice could get clouded by the way I chose to refer to other people and their circumstances. I didn’t realize it until their circumstances became my circumstances.

As someone with paranoid schizophrenia I am an insider in terms of mental illness, as a former social worker, I am an insider in the helping profession. I’ve been on both sides of the desk and in order to do the best for your clients you occasionally need to step out from behind the desk and sit in the other chair, if only for a moment, and if only to see the work you do more clearly.

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