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It Would Be Nice If Our Motto Was Do No Harm

06 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by A Journey With You in mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

demons, do no harm, Facebook, god, injury, mental health, mental illness, schizophrenia], stereotypes, stigma, wounds

I don’t usually lose my cool unless I’m in a car, but that is another story. Today, I lost my cool. On my Facebook feed, I saw a post by a woman that said schizophrenics (I hate that word) in America hear voices telling them to commit acts of violence but in India schizophrenics (that word again) hear voices that tell them to clean house. I have over one thousand friends in common with the woman writer who posted this and the last time I checked her post had eleven likes from other Facebook users.

At first, I left a comment telling her she was ignorant and wrong. Then I deleted that and left a message about it on my Facebook page with a big F.U. (something I rarely, if ever, do), and then I deleted that too.

When my husband got home from work, I couldn’t even bring myself to tell him what had happened. There is a wound that is caused by people’s ignorance. It is like being bullied. It is like being called names. It is like being an outsider who is misunderstood. Of course, the name for this type of incident is stereotypes and stigma.

People’s ignorance and terrible comments make me feel shame for an illness that I didn’t ask for or do anything to create. Schizophrenia is not a punishment from God or an attack from demons (no matter what some people would have you believe). It is a disease of the brain, just like brain cancer only it doesn’t require chemo or surgery – it disrupts the thought process (a tumor can do that, too). Also, schizophrenia doesn’t equal violence and what does some woman on Facebook know about hearing voices – her words are in reality preposterous.

What gets me about today, was that I lost my cool and that I was ashamed to tell my husband what happened. I didn’t want him to hear about how some people think about me, and people like me. I want my husband to be shielded from the cruel words and beliefs that others hold about my condition.

I want my husband to think the best of me, and I know that he does, because he knows me, loves me, and counts on me almost as much as I count on him. I just couldn’t take having him hear the negative way people think and talk about people with schizophrenia because I have schizophrenia so that woman was saying something about me.

Occasionally, the uphill climb to educate and inform people about my illness is too steep for me to get up. Today, I needed help, and I felt too weak to let the person in who loves me most.

So, does it matter when we stereotype, stigmatize and marginalize people – yes, it matters a lot. Words and actions are significant, and they can pile on injuries to people who have collected injuries all their lives in the same way that other people collect dolls or action figures. In medicine the oath is to do no harm, we should all claim that goal for our interactions. Do no harm. Do no harm. Do no harm.

It has a nice ring to it doesn’t it?

Taking Care Of Your Psyche

21 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by A Journey With You in hope, schizophrenia

≈ 27 Comments

Tags

bitterness, broken promises, compassion, crime, crooks, distrust, essays, feelings, heal, healing, health, heart, hope, injury, inspiration, joy, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, paranoid schizophrenia, resentment, self care, sensitive, true, trust, wounds, writing

As we go through our day, we are often injured by the words or actions of others. Those injuries leave small (or large) wounds on our psyche.

Recently, I counted on someone to do something for me. It is something they said they would do for months, and then they didn’t follow through.  As I am going about my day, I occasionally think of this broken promise. The thought brings the disappointment, confusion, and pain to the surface. I can’t make sense of what this person did to me and the wound is still open.

There was another thing that caused me an injury recently. A stranger stole from me. This situation makes me feel pain on several levels. It makes me feel worse about people in general, it makes me feel less safe and trusting of doing something I previously had no concern about, and even though I don’t know this person, it feels like a personal violation.

Every day I read positive affirmations all over social media. People love to post stuff about thinking positive, changing your attitude, because it will change your life, etc.  I think positive little sayings and poems are great, but it is unrealistic to think we will always be positive when we live with and around other people, and those people may be mean, thoughtless, crooks, or just insensitive.

The things that happened to me recently are certainly not life changing situations, and they aren’t traumatic situations. I didn’t receive news that a loved one is dying, and no one I know was beat up in a robbery. I am talking about small injuries here, but even though they are small, if we don’t allow them to have their space in our lives, and we don’t allow ourselves to completely heal from them, the buildup of small injuries left unattended can lead to bitterness, resentment, distrust – they can rob us of feeling true joy.

I would like to say that in a year’s time that I won’t remember these injuries, but I know that I will. I won’t ask the person that broke their promise to me to do anything for me again, and I will never regain the trust I had for people who have small businesses online. So, although these are not huge injuries, they are significant because I lost something in both cases – trust.  Trust is a critical component of life. It is particularly essential to people with paranoid schizophrenia. To me, trust is a sacred agreement between people and even some extent the larger society (we agree to follow the laws).

In a month from now, I’m not going to think about these two injuries as much as I think about them now, because they will begin to heal. I will make sure I give them proper attention, space, and time, in order to scab over.

Writing this is an important reminder to me to be kind, gentle and thoughtful when I am dealing with other people. My words and actions are important and can have more power than I know or intend. I don’t want to be the cause of injury, no matter how small those nicks and scrapes may be. So here and now, I offer you a band aid and some ointment to help recover from an injury you may have received recently. I hope your small injuries heal completely without scar tissue because that can be a layer between you and joy.

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