Tag Archives: media

How the Current Environment Mimics Schizophrenia

16 Friday Mar 2018

Posted by in mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized

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I think most Americans, whether they know it or not, are much closer than they realize to understanding the frequently misunderstood thought process of someone with schizophrenia. In fact, some people might be moderately experiencing that “diseased” process. I have spent time for that thought process, colloquially referred to as insanity, on a locked ward. Even though I have had periods of insanity, I also know what sanity is; I can recognize healthy thoughts. But I never thought I would have to white-knuckle my hold on reality because of the prevalence of so many untruths, conspiracy theories, and delusions in the media. Ours is an insane environment of information right now and I know I’m not the only one with a history of mental illness, or not, struggling to stay afloat mentally.

Not long ago, on major networks, we were watching coverage of the shooting in Las Vegas, with interviews of victims, first responders, and other eyewitnesses, stories of injuries, of everyday heroes, of the tragic loss of life. At the same time as these stories were told, social media was alive with conspiracy theories like that the shooter didn’t act alone; it was an inside job, there was no shooting in Las Vegas. Much like the denials that continue to be printed and told and circulate about the Sandy Hook Shooting. And last year, false stories and conspiracy theories brought us Pizzagate – a fake news story about a child sex ring operating out of a D.C. pizza joint.

I have schizophrenia and once believed that Americans traveling to China, in particular people on business, were being forced to work in sweatshops and were the victims of torture having body parts removed and sewn back on – a finger where a toe once was – an arm for a leg. Certain that this was happening, I believed several of my friends and family were dead.

When I had delusions about China, I was sick. I was in need of medical intervention. Of course, someone like me, who is prone to delusions, doesn’t just hold one at a time. I also held the beliefs that the world would end any day, that the government was wiretapping my conversations and spying on me and many other things that might sound familiar in this new, what should I call it? Reality? Environment? Political climate? I search for the words to describe it and to define it. One thing is for certain: reality has changed drastically and is almost unrecognizable from this time two years ago.

When I listened to President Obama, speak it never occurred to me that he was lying. It is possible that I was naïve, but it was a different day and age (even though not so long ago). I don’t know why but for the most part, I trusted him and (just in case you think I only trust Democrats, I trusted George W. Bush). I assume these former presidents may have misled the American people occasionally, but I am reading reports weekly that the current president lies on average of five times a day.

During a regular news cycle and the accompanying dose of social media, each day has more in common now with my symptoms of schizophrenia than ever before. There are the President’s denial of facts, fake news sites, correspondents presenting a skewed view of reality. I have a concern for the mental health of Americans because of my experience of delusions has always been frightening, and conspiracy theories, and “alternative facts” break down our sense of trust not just in governmental agencies and officials but other people and institutions. The current environment has led me to question everything.  And this practice of questioning, checking sources and doubting is exhausting and confusing for everyone, but for me, it is necessary to keep me on solid ground mentally.

In October of 2017, the Miami Herald reported that Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera, a woman running for Congress in Florida, believes she was taken on a spaceship by aliens. If I told the story that Aguilera is telling, my doctors would change my medication, and it is possible I would end up in a psych ward.

As someone with schizophrenia, I don’t have a choice when it comes to fighting for reality just like the majority of voting Americans didn’t choose this confusing, and almost mind-altering place they find on their televisions, Smartphones, and computers.  To get through this with sanity on their side, Americans may turn to people with schizophrenia for tricks and tools in how to avoid being sucked in by delusions, conspiracy theories, and lies. I never thought I would have advice about reality to give the average American, but I do;  check your sources, don’t take anything at face value, and question everything you hear.  Otherwise, we will all find ourselves in the realm of tin-foil hats, and no one will think it is funny.

 

Expectations, Conditioning and the Messages that Haunt my Mind

27 Thursday Oct 2016

Posted by in mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized, writing

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Recently, there was an article on a major website, and the message was, getting out of bed is the most we can hope for on certain days, or in other words, on some days success is measured just by getting out of bed. The premise of this article sounds reasonable especially for those who suffer from depression, but I want more for my life and expect more from myself.

If getting out of bed is the most we can hope for then our treatment isn’t working and needs to be adjusted. Some of us have symptoms on a daily basis, and some of those days it is too difficult to accomplish much. Not accomplishing anything isn’t acceptable to me, though and that is why I keep looking for a part-time job that I can manage.

Just because someone has a severe mental illness doesn’t mean they don’t have the same conditioning as other people in this society. Television, social media, magazines, all of these things condition us into thinking productivity defines our lives. We are also conditioned to think things about beauty, success, and happiness.

I think this conditioning is particularly hard for people with a disability. For example, being thin is considered beautiful, and most of us on anti-psychotic medication are battling with side effects of weight gain (along with high sugar levels and high cholesterol). I go through periods where I don’t watch my weight, and I can easily gain twenty pounds. I get a warning from the doctor, and I go back to watching my weight, and I am usually able to get it under control, but it takes effort, discipline, and self-awareness. Not everyone who is living with a mental illness can follow their treatment and make sure they manage their weight at the same time. One of those things is hard, add them both together and it takes real strength, organization, and many other skills.

Even though we have a mental illness, we are not immune to the messages or conditioning of society. Some of us can’t function at the same level as others, but it doesn’t stop us from feeling pressure to do so. It isn’t just weight gain and productivity that can get us down, though. We frequently don’t have the same amount of money as others because we have to pay for treatment or can’t work so we also don’t have the same material items that others consider mandatory (like an iPhone).

I wish I were evolved enough to say that none of this matters; being thin doesn’t make you happy (and isn’t the only standard for beauty), and neither does having the latest smartphone or a cool job. I have to admit I am not evolved, though and the thing that bothers me most and is the most difficult for me is productivity. If I get to the end of my day and I haven’t accomplished anything I am so disappointed and almost disgusted with myself.

I know that many of us are not capable of holding down a 40 hour a week job, and there are few part-time jobs that are flexible enough to manage (I keep looking for them) but even though this is true, many of us still feel the need to contribute and to be productive. It would be great to be happy binge watching television (I never turn it on before 6 pm) or just lying around, but I don’t know anyone who is happy with a life like that. On bad days when I have a hard time with symptoms, I still feel like there was still time for me to produce something. For some people that something may be cleaning their house, cooking, knitting, or painting. For me, it is writing. I need to write every day to feel as if I have been successful (that doesn’t mean I can write every day, I can’t, but on those days that I am not able to write, I feel miserable).

I wish that article about how sometimes just getting out of bed is considered a successful day were true (it would make it easier on the egos of those of us with a mental illness). I don’t think it is, though. I can’t imagine that conditioning and the messages from society don’t impact most people in the same way they impact me. We have to struggle to undo those messages, and as hard as I struggle, some of them (productivity) seem to be wound tightly around my psyche unwilling to unwind.

Cheering On The Media

20 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by in bipolar, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized, writing

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Two days ago I wrote about Ben Carson’s use of the word, schizophrenic, on my Psych Central Blog.

It turns out the language and stigma are on the mind of many writers.  Check out this article from the Washington Post. It is about Trump’s use of words like “wacko” and “nut job.”

And then there is this article from Slate about the abuse of the word, schizophrenic, on Twitter.

All I can say is it is about time the media started calling out people for stigmatizing mental illnesses.

Normally, I call the media out for insinuating that we are criminals (especially mass shooters) this is certainly the first time on my page that you will see the words, “Go media, go!”

Sites Like The Mighty Start The Conversation And That Alone Is Great

21 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by in articles I wrote, bipolar, caregivers, hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized, writing

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I went to bed last night and a controversy was just starting to brew on one of my favorite sites to write for, The Mighty. One of the articles I wrote for them was shared over 1,000 times on Facebook. The message of that article was about stereotyping people with schizophrenia, and it reached a very large audience. Bravo! Good for me, good for them, good for breaking myths, stereotypes and helping people understand that schizophrenia isn’t a one-size-fits-all disease.

When I woke up this morning the controversy raged on, and if fact, it had grown while I was sleeping. Now there is a petition against The Mighty asking them to apologize to the disabled community for the harm they do. (The post/article that started the controversy was about autism. A parent wrote an article and created the game BINGO with her/his child’s symptoms. Some Mighty readers were outraged by the article because they thought it made light of, or made fun of some of the hardest and most difficult aspects of autism).

Okay, then. I’m not going to disagree. Last week The Mighty posted a cartoon by a woman with schizophrenia that said she wanted to be called, “schizophrenic” and she said she had every right to request that. You can find the cartoon here. The editors at The Mighty contacted me before running the cartoon and asked me what I thought about it. I thought it was taking us back to the early days of my diagnosis (twenty years ago). I thought it was harmful. I thought it was against most of what I work toward (considering schizophrenia as an illness and not who or what I am). Okay, so I was able to say what I thought. Other people with schizophrenia thought the cartoon was funny and right on.

I think that young people today don’t know how difficult it was twenty or even ten years ago to talk about a mental illness (exactly what I said in my post yesterday), and it is sites like The Mighty that have made mental illness and other disabilities mainstream conversations. Do they always get it right? Not for me they don’t, and they never will for everyone, because they are telling the stories of individual people with disabilities and individual families caring for people with disabilities.

Talking about disabilities like talking about race, or gender, or LGBT issues will never be perfect for everyone, but there are people/agencies/organizations/media outlets that are very successful at getting the conversations going. Those conversations are critical to acceptance by the larger community, and they are critical for change.

Of course I am not going to agree with every single person who has schizophrenia, and I don’t even think that should be the goal. The goal should be to end stereotypes, discrimination and stigma, and having a massive platform like The Mighty to tell our personal stories helps to do just that.

I am standing behind the work of The Mighty. Nothing manmade is ever perfect, but it can be useful, empowering, beneficial, and life changing.  #IAMTHEMIGHTY #GOMIGHTYGO

Victims, Schizophrenia, Social Media, And The News

18 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by in mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized

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It has been a wild ride on social media this week. I watched as hundreds of people that are friends of mine on Facebook put an overlay of France’s flag on their profiles. I, too, did something to show my support, I put up a picture of my husband and I at the Eiffel Tower that was taken from a trip we took back in 2008.

The outpouring of support for France was everywhere. After a day or so I started to see articles written by people from Lebanon asking why there wasn’t the same type of support for them (just before the attacks in Paris, Beirut suffered a terrorist attack that killed 41 people. ISIS claimed responsibility).

There was a lot of what I have seen called, “grief shaming” going on. People were accusing other people of acting as if Lebanese lives don’t matter as much as French lives. There was an article out of Seattle today saying that the flying of the French flag on the Space Needle is racist.

I am actually in a unique position in regards to the claims of not caring as much for one group’s lives as much as another. My husband was born in Beirut, his first language is French, and we have family in both countries.

What did I do when I heard about the attack in Paris? I changed my profile picture to show support for France, not Lebanon. Does that mean I care less for the people of Beirut, the city where my husband was born? No. I care equally for the people of Beirut, how could I not when my own husband is Lebanese?

What happened to me, and what happened to many others is that the news of the bombing in Beirut didn’t reach us until after we had heard about Paris. I am not a news junkie, so I don’t always hear what is happening in the world the moment it happens unless it hits my circle on social media.

Information about the attacks in Paris was almost instantly on my newsfeed, and the same was not true for the attacks in Beirut. I don’t blame individuals for not caring as much about one group of people as much as the other. I blame the media for not covering the story in the same way.

Several hours after the attacks in Paris, I had already heard heartbreaking and terrifying stories from people who saw the attacks taking place. In other words, I had already met the victims. I met the first victim of the Beirut bombing today – the story of a man who threw his body on one of the terrorists which caused the explosives the terrorist had strapped to his body to explode. The man and his daughter died, but in the process he saved hundreds of lives. He died a tragic death, but he also died a hero.

So my response to all the “grief shaming” that I saw happening on social media and in magazines is to say that if “someone” is racist and cares more about French lives than Lebanese lives, that “someone” appears to be the media, because the coverage of the two incidents were completely lopsided.

On a blog about schizophrenia, why does any of this matter? It matters, because if the Lebanese people are asking us, “Do our lives matter less to you than the lives of others?” I want to have an answer for them. I constantly feel as if people with a mental illness are marginalized and treated as “less-than.”  When I hear other people talking that way, my ears perk up, because I don’t want to be a person that is guilty of valuing one group of human beings over another. I constantly ask people to care about the mentally ill. I constantly ask people to care about the way the mentally ill are treated and about the issues that involve us.

How can I ask people to pay attention to my life, and what concerns me if I am unwilling to care about their life and what concerns them?  I don’t feel like I have a right to do that. So, I am saying to the Lebanese people, yes, the world paid more attention to the loss of life in France than in Lebanon. Yes, cities all over the planet turned their landmarks blue, white, and red. We are guilty of this. I believe it has to do with the media, but next time, (hopefully there will be no next time) I will be monitoring my own behavior. I don’t want you to say that you spoke out about your pain, and the injustice of it all, and no one was listening.  I heard you.

My Stigma Busting Video by SeaTread Studios

04 Saturday Jul 2015

Posted by in caregivers, mental illness, relationships, schizophrenia, stigma

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Here is the video where Adam of SeaTread Studios interviews me.  It is 45 minutes, but I hope some of you will take the time to watch it.

Trigger Warning: talk of psychosis and suicide.

SeaTread Studios: Rebecca

The Recent Shootings and Mental Illness

20 Saturday Jun 2015

Posted by in bipolar, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma

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I cried yesterday morning. Crying isn’t unusual for me, I cry easily, but the reason I cried is a first. It is a first in my lifetime. It is an amazing time for mental health advocates, and it just might be the beginning of a new world for those of us with a mental illness.

People are not letting it happen. People are speaking out and pushing back.  The media tried to say mental illness was the cause of the horrific murders of nine people in South Carolina, and for once, there are writers pushing back on the stereotypes. It’s not going to be allowed to happen this time. Our illnesses are not going to be used as the cause of the violence in America.

You can read an article from The Stranger, here.  You can read another article from Salon, here. Read them and mourn for those nine victims and their families, but rejoice that this time, a mass shooting is not going to be tied to the mentally ill.

These are two great articles, but that is not all. I read it on people’s Facebook statuses. The posters I read were vocal about not calling the shooter, mentally ill.  They want it to be considered as, and be remembered as, and be tried as, exactly what it is, a crime of hate.

There is hatred in America, and that is the root cause of these tragic killings.  I think we would all agree that the real definition of insanity is to go into a church, participate in Bible study, and then open fire on the people you just worshipped with.  That is true insanity, and has nothing to do with mental illness.

We must keep the victims of this tragedy at the heart of the issues here. They deserve to be remembered, and they deserve justice, and they deserve a society that works hard to try and change the climate that would make their deaths by a gunman in a church even possible.

We must remember those beautiful lives first, but we must also know that our voices have been heard. The tide is changing. The stereotypes are losing some of their power and hold on the minds of the American people. Now, I challenge you, my fellow mental health advocates, to make sure that you also help eliminate stereotypes about all people whenever and wherever you encounter them.

We gained some territory, but let’s help everyone who is discriminated against, who has to live with stereotypes to gain some fresh ground too.  We know what it is like to live with cruel jokes. We know what it is like to have so much misunderstanding, ignorance and hatred thrown our way. Let’s help all the other people who suffer in a way similar to ours.

If one of us wins, we all win. The struggle continues.

An Article I Wrote

18 Thursday Jun 2015

Posted by in articles I wrote, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, writing

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Here is an article I wrote for The Mighty. I love the people that work there, they are so supportive of people with a disability.

Fellow mental health bloggers, please see the end of the article. They are asking for stories like ours. Please consider submitting your story to them.

http://themighty.com/2015/06/ask-me-not-the-media-what-its-like-to-have-schizophrenia/

Talking Psychosis

07 Sunday Jun 2015

Posted by in bipolar, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma

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Lately, it seems wherever I turn, there is an article about schizophrenia. Recently, I read one in the New York Times, the Huffington Post, and the LA Times. I am happy and thankful that schizophrenia is getting so much mainstream attention and it isn’t all bad.

One article was about how hard it is to make friends when you have schizophrenia. Another article was about what dating is like with schizophrenia. The third one was terrible news about a young man whose family had tried repeatedly over the years to get him treatment and then, during a psychotic episode, he tried to kill his parents. Now he is getting his much needed treatment, but it happens to be in jail. The last one is not a story most caregivers or people with schizophrenia want to read. We don’t want to read it, because we know that getting treatment for a family member who desperately needs it is at times frustrating, and nearly impossible. Of course we also don’t want to read it, because it reinforces the stereotypes and stigma of a severe mental illness. We aren’t all dangerous.

After reading these articles in the last week or so, I asked myself, what would I like the world to know about schizophrenia? If I could write these articles what would they be about? Well, I love the articles about friendship and dating, because they humanize people with a mental illness and they help chip away at the stereotypes.  When Hollywood started casting more people of color in films (they need to work even harder at this) it helped everyone see a more diverse America, and help expand our ideas of what is beautiful. Seeing people of color on the front of magazine, as CEOs, and of graduates of the best schools, etc. helps end stereotypes, it helps change perceptions. It is beneficial to all of us. The same is true about seeing people with schizophrenia in magazines and movies (as long as the increased coverage doesn’t just use stereotypes of stigma). So, yes, yes, yes in terms of seeing those of us with schizophrenia as more human. I love these articles.

But, there is another thing, a lifesaving thing that I would love to see covered on a regular basis in the media, and that is psychosis. The most difficult times for a person with a severe mental illness is during a psychotic episode, because that is when they are most likely to be hurt, or hurt themselves or someone else. We need to have a conversation about how to talk to someone who is psychotic.

When someone is psychotic they are more likely to have an encounter with the police. If the police ask that person to put up their hands, or get down on the ground, the psychotic person may not comply. They may not understand the action they are being asked to take, or they may be having delusions about being injured, or tortured, or in some way being harmed. This puts the person who is mentally ill at great risk of being injured by police who are concerned about their own and other’s safety.

I would like to have an open, and public, discussion with psychiatrists, caregivers, and people with schizophrenia how best to communicate with a person suffering from psychosis. I would like to have people properly trained to deal with a person who is psychotic so they could prevent that person from hurting themselves, hurting someone else, or being hurt by police. It is so important.

I have thought long and hard about what to say to someone who is psychotic to help ease their fear, or paranoia. I don’t know exactly what would help. It may be as simple as asking repeatedly, “Are you okay? Do you need to see a doctor?”  I’m honestly not sure of the best way to reach a person suffering psychosis, but together we may be able to come up with answers that would definitely save lives.