Tag Archives: movies

Love, Marriage and Schizophrenia? You Bet!

21 Wednesday Mar 2018

Posted by in caregivers, hope, mental illness, relationships, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized

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This post is to all the people with schizophrenia (in all its forms – paranoid, schizoaffective) who have asked me about love.

There is nothing wrong with being single. Being single can and is a positive choice for a lot of people, but there are many people with schizophrenia who have asked me and confided in me about their hope to partner up, get married, and share their life with another person.

When a society constantly shows people like us as defeated, broken, or in the worst case scenario as monsters, it is hard not to internalize negative messages about yourself. I have heard people of color talk about their own internalized racism. Why would people with schizophrenia, the most stigmatized of the mental illnesses, be any different than people of color when it comes to internalizing the messages we see, hear, and experience every day? We aren’t different; we do the same thing.

I’m here to tell you that hopes and dreams do come true. Schizophrenia doesn’t have to equal loneliness.  Having a severe mental illness doesn’t mean that other people get all the good stuff and there is nothing left for us. Schizophrenia doesn’t mean we are the messages society tells about us. We all know better. We are more. We are talented. We are lovers. We are fighters. We have wisdom. We have humor.

After it all, we are human, and we are worthy of love, and I believe if we want love we have the same chance as anyone else of finding it. I don’t believe for us it is like finding a needle in a haystack, I believe love is out there weaving its magic tail, and we need to find the strings of it and hold on, and from those strings begin to tie together a life. Possibly the life we have always dreamed of, or even better.

I know how hard it is to believe that your soul mate or the love of your life will come along. For me, the love of my life grew out of a long relationship. When I first met JC, he was the type that was a neatnik, and I was a slob. I had a dozen dirty coffee cups in my car, and while I was at work, he would clean out the car, wash all the cups, and leave them in the dish dryer in the kitchen. He put things away, and I tossed them on a chair, the floor, or the bed. I thought we would never make it. But as soon as I got sick, we knew that bigger things than how neat or sloppy we each were at our doorstep.

An episode of psychosis is a wake-up call about what is important and what is superficial. We quickly got past the superficial and started focusing on the big stuff. And the big stuff can ironically be small stuff with big importance, like the little things we do to show our love like making each other coffee, a back or foot rub, and always being the one in the other’s corner, cheering.

I feel like I have a gift for you. It is possible that you already know about this gift, or have seen it. If you haven’t, please do yourself the favor of watching it. It is a romantic story with a character who has schizophrenia. In my mind, it is all of our stories. It is the story I want the world to see. It is a story I can accept. It is a story I can relate to and one that I would tell people to watch if they want to know more about schizophrenia (there are others, but this one, this one…yes, this one). It is free on Roku, and it stars a young Johnny Depp, the name of the film is Benny and Joon.

If Hollywood (one of the worst offenders of stereotypes) can give us a movie about us that makes my heart sing, there is hope. Of course, we know there is always hope for all things, especially love.

 

When Writers Are Lazy We Get Stereotypes

03 Saturday Feb 2018

Posted by in bipolar, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized

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We finished the series (only four episodes) of Retribution on Netflix last night. My brother told me to watch it because of the way they handle schizophrenia. The series is a pretty good mystery, but the writers were lazy. Lazy is what I am going to start calling writers who can’t be bothered to move past stereotypes or do research.

The suspected killer in Retribution is “a schizophrenic off his medication.” No, I can’t make this stuff up. The character’s mental health has absolutely no value to the story whatsoever, and they decided to add that line. The story might have been stronger without the reference to schizophrenia. The character shows no symptoms of the illness and only shows symptoms of drug addiction (and people with a former addiction might have a problem with making the criminal a drug user, I don’t know. I don’t follow many people recovering from drug addiction).

Not only do the writers get schizophrenia wrong (stereotype and no sign of symptoms), but they get Parkinson’s wrong as well. My brother-in-law has had Parkinson’s for over twenty years, and my dad has it as well, and it isn’t a death sentence the way the movie makes it out to be. The way the character with the disease acts it is as if he only has a short time to live which is not the case with anyone I know with Parkinson’s.

I have three new books to read that all have a character with schizophrenia. I will be posting the books and how well I think the authors portray the illness. I still think movie writers do a poor job overall, let’s see if novels and memoirs are any better.

Do any of you have good examples of books or movies with mentally ill characters? I am mostly interested in the portrayal of schizophrenia, but if a book or movie has a good representation of bipolar disorder, I might read or watch it.

 

Writing Schizophrenia

12 Wednesday Oct 2016

Posted by in heroes, hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized, writing

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Last night I was binge watching old episodes of Blue Bloods. My husband and I have always enjoyed the cop show mostly because of its focus on family. I don’t think either one of us will see it the same way again after the writers created a man with schizophrenia who had killed a young girl’s family but became stable (and remorseful) in prison after taking medication.

I can’t tell you how many times a very similar character or killer is part of the story on Criminal Minds, and other detective/cop shows. Will Hollywood never tire of the killer with schizophrenia?

In every beginning writing class students are urged to avoid stereotypes because they make writers look lazy and ignorant. Apparently, writers for Hollywood haven’t received the Composition 101 memo, or they think writing in a killer with schizophrenia is just too appealing to the general public to leave it out. I doubt the latter; It’s simply bad writing done by people who refuse to spend ten minutes researching the statistics regarding people with schizophrenia and instead turn to an old and tired story.

I can’t help but think that if the same writers created a stereotypical character from another minority, there would be some outrage on the part of the public (at least I hope so). But with mental illness, and particularly schizophrenia, the outrage seems to be limited to a few blogs and occasionally one of the larger mental health non-profits will have their members write letters.

How would I like people with schizophrenia to be portrayed? Realistically of course and that requires talking to people who have the disease and asking about their symptoms. Do they hear voices? Do they hear voices continuously or only sometimes? Do they suffer from delusions? If they experience paranoia, how does it manifest in their everyday life? What other symptoms do they have, and how do they manage those symptoms?

I have encountered dozens of people with schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder, and they can all answer the questions that I just listed. In the disability community there is a saying, “Nothing about us, without us,” and that is how I feel about schizophrenia. If people want to write about it, that is great, but hopefully, they will care enough to do some research to make sure their characters aren’t just the same old stereotypes that are written about frequently now and over the past few decades.

It would be admirable if a few writers would like to do some good, and find out what living with a severe mental illness is like and how difficult it can be without trying to live with the views that they have reinforced over and over again by making us out to be dangerous killers.

We can all agree the pen is a mighty instrument that can be used for the good of others or to harm others. I hope that someday soon in Hollywood, the writers of popular shows will decide to help eradicate stereotypes about schizophrenia rather than perpetuate them. I can only think of one story where the hero has schizophrenia, and it was a blockbuster. The movie is, “Beautiful Mind.”

The success of “Beautiful Mind” should be an indicator that the public is hungry for a different narrative where mental illness is concerned. And the old cliche that says, “there is nothing new under the sun” simply isn’t true especially regarding characters with schizophrenia.

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Netflix And Psych Central

24 Sunday Jan 2016

Posted by in bipolar, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized, writing

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I have four things on my mind today.

I watched a movie on Netflix, Neverwas. If you would like to see how Hollywood romanticizes mental illness, I suggest watching this movie. Let me know if you decide to see it. I would love to know what you think.

A series that I watch, Longmire, had an episode with a Native American man who had schizophrenia. The character killed his sister, of course. You can’t get any more stereotypical than the violent man with schizophrenia. They did get a part of the illness right though. The character suffered from delusions of a spiritual nature.  Also it seemed as if the character had a very low IQ which is an inaccurate portrayal of the majority of people with schizophrenia.

Enough of Hollywood.

I am reading a book, Women of the Asylum. It is a book that has over twenty essays, letters, or journal entries from women who lived in an asylum between the years of 1840-1945. I have finished the introduction, and two of the women’s essays. I like the book so far. If you are interested in reading about the history of feminism, psychiatry, and first person accounts of the mental health system, this is the book for you.

I have two new posts up on my Psych Central blog.

One is Treatment Can Be Harder Than You Think.

The other one is The Mentally Ill As Advocates For Each Other.

The Treasure Some Have

04 Friday Sep 2015

Posted by in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, writing

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I like the show Orange is the New Black. I binged watched the first two seasons. The third season has been out for several months now, and I haven’t finished it yet. I have lost part of my enthusiasm which happens to me with almost everything having to do with television. (I’m not a big fan of television or of movies. During my twenties and thirties, I went many years without owning a TV – popular culture isn’t really my thing.)

But the television show led me to the book, and while I have been doing my daily exercises, I have been reading the memoir that Orange is the New Black is based on. The book is not nearly as dramatic as the television show, but I like the book, and I noticed something noteworthy in it today, and it is something I have heard from other people, seen in movies, and read in books – even in the worst places, the human spirit can thrive if you have a spark in your spirit. Or maybe the reality is when all the busyness and distractions, and social media, and television, and noise of our daily lives are taken away, we can see beauty. Or maybe, it is when we are surrounded by the negative and the ugly our soul easily finds pleasure and beauty in simple things.

I can’t find the words to write down the exact message/experience, but the narrator in the book is in prison and she find such joy, pleasure, and beauty in such simple things, like listening to a college radio station, eating a root beer float, and jogging.

Her experience reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Shawshank Redemption. In the movie, the main character, Andy, holds freedom and beauty in his heart and mind and is always looking for ways to express that freedom and beauty to the other prisoners by using things like books and music. It is a theme that runs through many fictitious and true stories.

That freedom of the human spirit, that ability to find beauty in some of the ugliest places, and in the worst circumstances is a true gift but I don’t think everyone has it. There are only some people who can be locked up, or become terminally ill or live in extreme hardship and still look for and experience beauty.

I think it is that ability, that little spark inside, that little glimmer of hope, that little slice of magic, that breath of true life, however small it is, that connects my husband and me.

I don’t ever want to romanticize mental illness, and if I could choose not to have schizophrenia, I would definitely choose to live without it, but there are things that have happened, that my husband and I have experienced together, that came about because of my illness, where we found that small space of beauty among tragedy.

Mental illness is a tragedy, and it robs so many young people of their full potential, but the fact is many of us have to live with it every day. We don’t have a choice, so we have to make the best of it. And certainly there are parts of it that are terrible, and ugly, and then there are parts where a small slice of heaven shines through.

My husband and I have seen those warm and magnificent rays and we have rejoiced because to be alive is a miracle, and that miracle can be expressed even in a disease like schizophrenia.

Soaking up Inspiration

28 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by in hope, travel, writing

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This past weekend my husband and I watched a ten or twelve year old movie about Frida Kahlo. I was introduced to Kahlo’s work and life at an exhibition in Southern California and ever since that time, I have loved what I have seen and read about her. Her life is an inspiration to me. She was in pain most of her adult life, and yet she kept on living. Not only did she keep on living, she thrived. Her life is a wonderful example for anyone who has chronic pain or a severe illness.

After watching the movie my husband and I decided to get out of the house for a while. We went down to the waterfront and because it was hot, and because I love books, we headed for my favorite novelty shop/coffee shop/bookstore. When we were there I had an idea. There have been many times when my husband and I have read books to each other (usually while traveling) and I thought it would be nice to get a book for us to take turns reading to each other.

Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

I imagined it would be the perfect book for us right now. In 2006 we took a road trip for six months and we loved it. We went to thirty four states. We talk about doing it again as soon as my husband can retire. Last week, I found a map on the Internet of many of the most famous road trips – road trips taken and written about by famous authors. Someone took the time to map out these famous author’s paths across the country. Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance, is on the map.

I loved the book when I was in my twenties. I have a feeling I will love and appreciate it even more as I near fifty.

My husband started reading it to me two nights ago. The message was about taking the least traveled roads, looking at the beauty that surrounds you, how we work to live, but don’t really enjoy it. So far, it also contains the message of simplicity.

I am disabled, but I’m not dead. I want to have hopes and dreams like everyone else. Even though I have a severe mental illness, I want to thrive. I want to be inspired. I want to live a life with as much meaning as possible.

I am certain my husband and I will finish the book, and begin to make plans to follow the path that the author of the book travels. We may take our car if I can’t get past some of my fears, but we are going to look at motorcycles next weekend.

A movie, a book, inspiration, a dream, weaving our way through this world the best we can manage with our own challenges.

I may ride on the back of a motorcycle again one day, holding on to my husband, and following the roads mapped out in great books.

It’s romantic. It’s exciting. It’s a creative way to take an unusual vacation, especially for someone who loves books.

I must learn to step away from my computer, and look at the road ahead of me. Whether on my feet, in a car, or on a motorcycle, there are paths to take and things to see. I can’t let my illness keep me from the scenery of life. My doctor says if I stop trying out of fear, the less and less I will be able to do.

Right now, we are traveling on a motorcycle via the words written by a writer, but soon I may feel the wind on my face and the dampness of the air near the Pacific.

Dare to dream, I’ll meet you there.

Disney got it Right, when will we?

21 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by in mental illness, writing

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I am not much of a consumer of pop culture. I rarely listen to music (I prefer silence). I don’t pay attention to what is on the bestseller list, but I do occasionally read books recommended or discussed on Facebook by writers in my network. I still own a flip phone, and I don’t have an iPad. I’m not addicted to movies or television either. I watch an episode of Orange is the New Black once a week, and at times I binge-watch the cop show Blue Bloods.  I haven’t been in a theater in over a year. So, when I tell you I watched Disney’s Maleficent this past weekend, please don’t be surprised that I am just getting around to it.

With all that being said, I loved the feminist twist of Maleficent. Sleeping Beauty was not saved by the prince on a white horse she was saved by the kiss of a faerie with a maternal-type love. It was a fantastic twist on a Disney classic. I told my niece, who is seventeen, and watched it with me, that I loved the fact that it was an “older” woman’s love that saved the princess instead of the kiss of a young prince. My niece told me that the movie, Frozen also had a character saved by the true love a woman, and in that case, it was the love of a sister.

As a woman who grew up with almost no other choices than a prince on a white horse, I am so happy to see this storyline change. I am sure the young girls growing up with other examples of true love, and heroines will have a bigger worldview than those of us who were raised that we would someday be swept off our feet by Prince Charming. I know women my age who still seem to be waiting for that prince to arrive so they can have that fairytale wedding and happy-ever-after.

I have been thinking about issues involving women for a very long time, but the movie Maleficent made me really curious about the mental health industry when it comes to both men and women.  In one article I read in the Guardian that women are 40% more likely to suffer from mental illness than men, and women tend to take action against themselves (eating disorders, cutting, etc.) while men tend to take action against their environment (substance abuse and anger problems).

Nearly 1 in 5 women in the United States will be raped in their lifetime according to a New York Times article.

1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys are sexually abused according to statistics. 

I know it isn’t the only contributing factor, but these statistics have to contribute to the higher numbers of women with mental health issues. We know that rape and childhood sexual abuse contribute to depression, PTSD, eating disorders, alcohol abuse, and suicide.

I don’t know how to change the horrifying statistics of child sexual abuse and rape, but I am hoping that if Hollywood continues to give us something besides a damsel in distress and a male to save her, that having examples of women saving women and women saving themselves will help women to be stronger, more independent and will give women positive role models on how to heal from trauma instead of turning on themselves by developing an eating disorder, self-injury, or even suicide.

Of course I wish the trauma that often causes someone to experience mental health issues didn’t exist. Can we work on that, please?

In the meantime, let’s buy products where females aren’t objects or victims and stop supporting magazines that sexualize teenage girls.

Every dollar you spend is a vote for something, please vote for less violence against women and more positive role models for our young girls – their lives may literally depend on it.