Tag Archives: OCD

Not All Doctors Have Empathy Or Understanding

26 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by in mental illness, stigma

≈ 23 Comments

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I belong to a blogging group on Facebook where bloggers can ask each other questions about traffic, fonts, product endorsements, etc. One blogger, a medical student, posted that she received an e-mail from someone on the Internet saying that her blog name was offensive. The blog name was a play on the diagnosis of OCD.

I am not going to reveal the name of the blog here, because I don’t need to cause myself any problems, but she asked the members of the group if they thought the name of her blog is offensive (she even said the psychiatry students thought it was “cute”). There were nearly 200 comments on this thread and some people tried to explain that, yes, the name is offensive, because it makes a very serious issue something light, fun, and playful. Most people (probably 99%) wrote that they thought people needed to stop being so sensitive, and to stop being so easily offended and basically to lighten up.

This was one clear example of trying to keep the status quo, and trying to keep a marginalized and voiceless community in their place. I don’t think anyone would dare tell a person of color that something they considered to be racism wasn’t really racism and they just needed to lighten up, stop being so sensitive and quit being offended by “every little thing.” The very act of telling a person of color those things is racism.

People don’t get to define what life is like for those of us with a mental illness. They don’t get to define what language we find offensive, hurtful or cruel. Many times in my life a person who is gay or a person of color has asked me not to use a certain word. I have always apologized, and discontinued the use of the word. I don’t try to defend myself by saying, “lighten up” or “stop being so sensitive.” I have believed those people’s experience of the world and of language. It is time to start believing people who have a mental illness.

After the medical student with the blog, asked her question about the name of her blog, she wrote, “Do you think I am just being paranoid?” I think this proves she has bigger problems than just an offensive blog name. I think she needs to go to sensitivity training before becoming a doctor. She proudly wrote to everyone in the group that she had already gone through her “psych rotation” All I can say is those poor patients.  Honestly.

Two Blogs and A Book

09 Friday Oct 2015

Posted by in bipolar, mental illness, schizophrenia, writing

≈ 27 Comments

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I have said this before, but I think it is important to say it again, those of us with a mental illness that blog about our symptoms, and our experiences with schizophrenia, anxiety, bipolar, depression, OCD, PTSD, etc. need to take a break from thinking so much about ourselves and our illness every once in a while.  I think our blogs are very helpful, but occasionally we need to think about other people, social issues, and the larger world. Today is my day to think about others, and to go out in the world and live life a little instead of thinking about the fact that I have schizophrenia.  As we all know, we are so much more than our illnesses – we need to say it and live it.  So, I leave you with three things:

I have a new blog up at Psych Central that I hope you will read and leave me a comment on it. I think it is worth the trip over there.

I have a good friend with a new novel out. I am on chapter 6 and it is a really interesting and fun read. If you are looking for a mystery/romance to read while you are sipping your pumpkin lattes, please check out her book. The book is The Black Velvet Coat written by Jill G. Hall. 

Lastly, I have another good friend with a very clever and artistic blog (I love it). If you like words and you like art, you will love her blog. It is found poetry and collage. If you have a minute, pop over there and see her unique work.

Mentalism and Psychophobia: I’m Looking At You

22 Tuesday Sep 2015

Posted by in mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma

≈ 11 Comments

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Every night before going to bed I think about what I will write on my blog the next morning. Once I have an idea, I begin to craft the sentences and the points I will make in my post.

Last night I thought, “I want new words for how people talk about and treat people with a mental illness. The word stigma is so overused and confusing. It just isn’t working to change the climate of negativity and stereotypes around mental illness.”  So, I thought to myself, what has worked for other minority groups?  The word homophobia and islamophobia work very well. People do not like to hear that they are being homophobic or islamophobic. It is perceived as negative to be acting in such a way that one’s behavior gets called out as being one of those two things. We need a word for people that say words like wacko, or lunatic, or insane, or buy a straitjacket for a costume for Halloween.  We need to be able to have a negative word applied to those behaviors and words that stereotype or dehumanize those of us with a mental illness.

I was going to make a word up. I was going to suggest the word Mentophobia. But when I woke up this morning, I thought maybe a word already exists and we just aren’t using it. I typed the following into Google’s search box, “a word for people who hate the mentally ill.” Here is what that search brought back.

So, from now on I will use the word mentalism just like I use the word racism and sexism. I will stop using the word stigma as a catch all for every time someone discriminates against me or someone else with a mental illness. I believe the use of the word mentalism has the power to change things in our culture faster than any educational campaign. People don’t like to be called a racist or a sexist, now we can call certain behaviors mentalist and hopefully being classified as a mentalist will be as undesirable to people as being a racist or a sexist.

Then there is the word psychophobia in place of homophobia or islamophobia (both are also considered negative things to be labeled as). If someone is making jokes about going to an asylum or waiting for the men in white to pick them up, or thousands of other derogatory jokes, we can now say they are being psychophobic.

I hope you will begin to call people out for their mentalism and their psychophobic behaviors. We, those of us with a mental illness, deserve to be treated with respect just like every other group of people, and if we are not being treated with respect we need negative labels to use to call out the behavior of those who make fun of us, put us down, joke about our diseases or disorders, etc. So if you hear someone say, “I’m so OCD” when they really mean they are organized, then call them out. Tell them, “That comment is psychophobic.” If someone says, “I’m so bipolar today” when they really mean they went from happy to sad, and back again. Call them out. Tell them, “That comment is an example of mentalism.”

Here is to hoping you are never engaged in mentalism or psychophobic behaviors. If these words get traction in the general population we will be well on our way to changing the discriminatory way that the mentally ill are treated. It is a cultural shift that I hope to live to see. We are the one minority group that is constantly bombarded with stereotypes and myths and there are so few people who seem to care enough to call it out. I’m calling it out right here, right now.  You’ve been warned.

The Battles we have to Face on top of Mental Illness

02 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by in bipolar, mental illness, schizophrenia

≈ 10 Comments

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The hardest thing about being mentally ill is definitely psychosis – in my opinion there is nothing worse than that. It is terrifying to be out of touch with reality and so often the voices, hallucinations, delusions, etc. are more frightening than any Hollywood horror show could ever come close to. But there are other things about mental illness that are hard, and I think those things are the daily stresses and situations that everyone has to deal with.

Just because you have a mental illness you don’t get a pass on other diseases. You still have to worry about cancer, heart disease, etc. This fact is a great equalizer – we are all in the same situation. We are all human and cancer and heart disease don’t discriminate. A chronic illness is difficult for anyone to deal with, but if you are dealing with a mental illness on top of a major health concern (diabetes is a big one), the stress can be enough to further damage your health.

I feel like those of us with a mental illness are in a no-win cycle at times. We have to take our medications, and our medications can cause serious illnesses. Exercise and diet help with our symptoms and with illnesses, but the medications can cause an increase in hunger, a lack of motivation, tiredness and lethargy making diet and exercise near impossibilities.

Holy cow! That is a lot to deal with, and then you factor in taking out the trash, going grocery shopping, figuring out how to pay the bills, a job (if you are lucky enough to be able to have and keep one), dishes, laundry, meal preparation, etc.  I know that these are the same stressors and situations that all people deal with, but combined with a mental illness it can look like a mountain that you are unable to climb, or a mountain that you start to climb, but get hit with something else and slip back ten feet, only to try again to go ten feet and slip back twenty.

All of these things are hard, but dealing with other people can be the most challenging thing of all (besides psychosis). Other people have issues! It is hard when you are mentally ill to recognize that other people have problems that are as big of an issue as a mental illness.  For instance, some people are very manipulative, passive-aggressive, gossips, mean-spirited, angry, bitter, takers, competitive, and spiteful. Most people won’t cut you any slack from their passive-aggressiveness, or their criticism because you have a mental illness. You are most often forced to deal with your symptoms and the difficult character and personality traits of others – exhausting! There are times when I really think that some people I know have more “symptoms” than I do, even though they haven’t been diagnosed with a mental illness.

I know I am usually hopeful, grateful, and upbeat in my blog, but today, I was overcome by how difficult it can be to be someone with a mental illness and try to maneuver the world and other people.

Today I am just honoring all of you who have to deal with life in the same way as everyone else and on top of that manage the symptoms of a mental illness. It is not easy and you are occasionally allowed to throw your hands in the air and yell, “Enough is enough!” Because honestly, it can be too much for all of us some times.  Give yourself a smiley face on your notebook today. I gave myself a smiley face and a piece a chocolate. Come on, we both deserve it.

Don’t Take it Personally, I Occasionally Write to Force Myself to act

14 Friday Aug 2015

Posted by in mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma, writing

≈ 15 Comments

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Today, like every Friday, my husband left the house at five-fifty in order to be at the organization he volunteers at, by six.

While he is sweating over a grill making pancakes, eggs, hash browns, or whatever else is on the menu this morning, I am typing away at the computer.

My husband’s advocacy for the mentally ill and my advocacy for the mentally ill, look totally different.

My husband participates in one of the most basic and nurturing of all tasks – he feeds people. Not only that, he gets his hands dirty, he sweats, and he looks people in the eye, giving them the message that even though society isn’t meeting their basic needs for food, clothing and shelter, someone still sees them as valuable, human, and important. Someone actually sees them.

I have seen hundreds of blogs dealing with every type and every aspect of mental illness. I have witnessed so many new nonprofits being formed in order to raise awareness and combat the stigma. There are days when I feel like my voice is falling into a canyon of voices and no one can hear me, because everyone is shouting and every shout echoes off the canyon walls. The reverberations are deafening.

Who are the people writing about mental health? Who are these people educating us about life with bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, eating disorders, personality disorders, schizophrenia, depression and others? Well, I am going to makes some assumptions here: most of us have a home, because we appear to have access to a computer constantly, most of us are educated at some level, because we are able to write coherent sentences, most of us have access to doctors and medications, otherwise, we probably wouldn’t be able to function at a level that is high enough to keep up a blog, or write an article, or be interviewed.

In other words, most of us are privileged, and please don’t write to me and tell me because you live on disability that you aren’t privileged. Having a roof over your head, having Internet access, having enough food to eat, having access to medical treatment – all of those things make you better off than billions of people on the planet and millions of people in the United States.

How is it that the people with the most are the only voices being heard? The people with the most severe symptoms, the people who suffer the most, the ones who are our most vulnerable, the ones who would benefit most from change, are silent. They have no access to the Internet which in reality is access to the world.

I know that I have influenced a few people with my articles and my blog, because they have written me and told me their stories.

I know that I have made a difference, and I am sure every blogger, writer, and artist out there has contributed in making the world a better place for the mentally ill, at least in the circles where people are literate and have access to a computer.

But I don’t think all this blogging, all these nonprofits formed to educate and combat stigma, have trickled down to the people who need it most.

People need doctors, people need hospitals, people need homes, people need clothes, and shoes and food, and someone to care.

Our household does a pretty good job at advocacy, but the best of it isn’t done by me. I am the one sitting at a comfortable computer chair with my ice water, coffee, and snacks. Who is making life more comfortable for the severely mentally ill – that’s my husband – sweat and tears.