Tag Archives: shootings

The Cost Of Terror

14 Saturday Nov 2015

Posted by in travel, writing

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This morning schizophrenia doesn’t seem like such a big topic. It doesn’t seem quite as pressing as usual. It certainly isn’t on the forefront of my mind.

I am thinking of Paris. I am thinking of all those innocent people who lost their lives and how their families are grieving and how the witnesses will probably suffer psychological disturbances for the rest of their lives.

I am thinking there was a time when I used to say, “Mom, I’m going to ride my bike,” and I would be outside until my mother blew a whistle to call all four of her children in.

I am thinking of a time when I went door to door by myself, in neighborhoods that were not my own, and sold Girl Scout Cookies.

I am thinking about a time when I walked to school and back home again, or walked several miles to a friend’s house.

I am thinking of a time when schools didn’t have metal detectors.

I am thinking of a time when flying on a plane was unusual, and most of the people I knew had never done it.

I am thinking about a time when going to another country was exotic not something people did for business or their annual vacation.

I am thinking of a time when I had never heard of the word terrorist.

I am thinking of a time when we were not at war.

I am thinking of a time when murder wasn’t on the nightly news.

I am thinking of a time when we owned bb guns and had never heard of an AK47.

I am thinking of a time when I was so excited to go to a baseball game or a move theater and my safety never occurred to me.

I am thinking of a time when the only monsters I knew of were under my bed or in my closet, but would disappear as soon as my parents or brothers turned on the lights.

I am thinking of the loss of innocence and how we never get it back again.

I am thinking of all the murders we have to try and live with on a daily basis. How much terror is too much terror? What will happen to us if as adults we can no longer grieve the sheer number of those murdered? Will it destroy our hearts?

Tragedy Strikes Again and we need to Think about it

24 Friday Jul 2015

Posted by in mental illness

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I am posting this so you will be aware that there has been another horrific shooting in the United States. This is becoming a pattern. It really is.

http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/24/us/louisiana-theater-shooting/

Our country has so much to deal with right now. The tension and violence are very high. We are battling racism. We are suffering from increased levels of gun violence. We are seeing increased incidents of terrorism. We are suffering from a crumbling mental health system (no open beds for people who are psychotic).

Things have to change. People are dying almost daily over these issues. We have to think of new solutions, we have to vote for people who will create real change.

A short post to ask people to think of ways they may be able to contribute to changing the current social problems.  Don’t forget, one person really can change the world. It may be you!

Mentally Ill Lives Matter Too

23 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by in bipolar, mental illness, schizophrenia, stigma

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I am overwhelmed, teary and disturbed this morning. Yesterday I did something I should have never done. I watched a video with a graphic warning that showed the killing of Kelly Thomas back in 2011. Once I started watching the video I should have stopped, but I kept saying to myself, “This will end now, this will end now.”  Then my thoughts changed to, “This has to end, right?  Please, when does this beating stop?”

The video is long and Kelly’s cries for help are horrible. I don’t recommend that anyone watch the video, because even though Kelly lived long enough to make it to the hospital, he died shortly after that, so you would essentially be watching people kill a man. It is…words fail me.

Kelly had schizophrenia. Not unlike the video of Jason Harrison, who also had schizophrenia, and was shot in front of his home when his mother called 911 to ask for assistance.

This morning I started to research how many people with mental illnesses are killed every year by police officers. The numbers have been increasing since the 1980’s when, as a country, we deinstitutionalized the severely mentally ill.  The source for this information is in an article written in the Portland Press Herald. The article is long, but worth the time.

I need to take some time this morning and just sit. I am not the kind of person who hates law enforcement. I respect the uniform. I respect that the police put their lives on the line every single time they get a call to respond. I would be the first to look to an officer for help if I needed it, but something terrible has gone wrong when the mentally ill and people of color (some of whom are also mentally ill like Jason Harrison) are being killed so frequently.

I understand the Black Lives Matter movement and some of those black lives are people who have the same illness as I do. I want their lives to matter too. Of course, I want all lives to matter, but I can only truly speak as a person with a mental illness. I want our lives to matter, black, white, brown, and every other color of skin.

People are saying it is dangerous to walk while black, or to drive while black, or basically live in a black man’s skin. I can’t speak to those experiences, I have to listen and learn, but I know it is also dangerous to have a psychotic break (something a mentally ill person also has no control over).

Think about psychosis for a minute. The person who is psychotic is not interpreting reality correctly. They may be hallucinating. They may be delusional. They may be terrified and thinking the world is out to get them, or even kill them. They may try to defend themselves from the threat they perceive. Handling a person who is suffering from psychosis is not a job for law enforcement (unless the person has a gun).

I’m not trying to take anything away from the Black Lives Matter movement, I agree, black lives do matter. I’m only trying to point out, that the mentally ill encounter some of the same hostile feelings and negative outcomes for no other reason than that they are mentally ill.

As with all people who have been marginalized, there is some common ground here.  I’m just pointing to it and saying, “Look, this matters.”

Mourn the Innocent, but Educate the Public

28 Saturday Mar 2015

Posted by in mental illness, schizophrenia

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I know that mental health advocates, and some bloggers have been writing about this, and I wouldn’t be adding to that, but this is so important.  This has to do with every one of us that has a mental illness.  This has to do with how we are treated, and perceived.

The media is saying that Andreas Lubitz, the man who locked the pilot out of the cockpit and purposefully crashed a plane with innocent people on board, had an “illness” that he was hiding, and in the same sentence they are reporting that he was depressed.

At the time I am writing this they haven’t said that depression was the illness he was hiding.  Of course, the way it is presented, I would imagine, everyone in the world that watches international news, probably believes that depression is in fact the cause.  Even though the illness hasn’t been named yet, the constant reference to his depression makes it sound as if he was both suicidal, and in this case, homicidal due to mental illness.

I am very discouraged.  I feel like we have made great strides in terms of accepting depression and bipolar disorder over the last few years, because some very high profile people have come out and talked about it, or have died from it (terrible).   I was hoping that the stigma and stereotypes surrounding schizophrenia would eventually lessen due to more understanding about depression and bipolar disorder.  I was hoping.  I was hopeful.  Now, this.

The media in this case has done to the illness of depression what they always do in the case of someone who commits a crime that has schizophrenia.  They don’t take the time to explain that millions and millions of people suffer from depression every year, and rarely do they harm anyone (except possibly, and tragically, themselves).

Whenever there is a mass shooting in this country, I count the minutes until the reporter covering the story begins to speculate on the possibility that the shooter has schizophrenia.  At the same time that I am counting, I am also praying they will find the person doesn’t have a history of mental illness.  I know this sounds awful, but it is true.  Of course, I also weep for all victims of crime everywhere, because a violent act is always tragic.

Sadly, our country’s short attention span usually kicks in before they have cleared up the psychological state of the perpetrator in a wildly publicized case.  In two of the most high profile cases, the Aurora shooting, and the shooting of Congresswoman Giffords in Arizona, the perpetrators were in fact suffering from schizophrenia.  It does happen, but it is so rare.

Murders happen across this country every single day where there is no known history of mental illness in the criminal.  This scenario is by far the norm.  The fact that this is common doesn’t catch our attention though.  Having a mentally ill criminal is far more sensational, and captures way more viewers.

I fear this latest tragedy not only took over one hundred innocent lives, it sent the ground we have gained in fighting and overcoming stigma back a decade.  I know it is tiring, but as we mourn the loss of the innocent, we must also put on our hats as educators and begin discussing the reality of mental illness.  By far the majority of us (millions) wouldn’t commit a crime.  I imagine the numbers would go down even further if we had an adequate system in place to get people the help they need.