Tag Archives: sick

Hope for the New Year

27 Wednesday Dec 2017

Posted by in bipolar, caregivers, hope, mental illness, relationships, schizophrenia, Uncategorized

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My husband and I sit down every year before January, 1st and write down our resolutions for the following year.  On New Year’s Eve we look at the list, we wrote twelve months earlier. We are usually a little bummed out because there are only one or two things from our list that we managed to accomplish. The past two years, those accomplishments have been big things (like financial planning), but still, most of our list is left undone.

This year, we decided to do something a little differently and hopefully when we look at what we have written twelve months from now, we will be pleased instead of disappointed. This year, instead of a list we are going to write down our intentions, and choose a word for the year.

My word for the year is WORK, and my husband’s word for the year is INSPIRATION. What does work mean to me? I want to be stable enough and committed enough to commit wholeheartedly to writing. I have started a memoir with a writing mentor (she expects at least ten pages a week starting in the New Year). I would also like to keep up with this blog and sell a few essays every month. For me, that is a lot of writing and a lot of work, but I feel hopeful that I can achieve it. I am also working together with my husband on a project that is the basis for his word, and I can’t wait to share the details, but we need to have it partially completed before I do that. One hint, it also has to do with writing (so excited about this!)

Underneath our words, we wrote our intentions. We both included things like getting out more, socialize more, and watch less news. To my list, I added to be on social media less and to read more books and essays. Reading more is the only place I included details – I would like to read a chapter a day and an essay a day (excluding blogs – I will read as many of those as I have time for).

2017 was a tough year for so many reasons. One of which was that my husband and I had almost continuous health problems throughout the year, add that on top of schizophrenia and my husband’s chronic illness and we were feeling miserable, worried, and down most of the year. When you throw in the daily news of disasters, terrorism, healthcare, etc.  Oh, boy! It is surprising that we were able to manage a low-grade depression and not a full on can’t-get-out-of-bed depression. When people say, your health is the most valuable thing (including mental health) they aren’t kidding. If you don’t have your health, it is difficult to get anything else accomplished or to focus on other things.

So, with that in mind, the best I can wish for all of you in the New Year is a healthy mind and body. Here is to a symptom-free year from your head to your toes (a New Year miracle, I know, but let’s aim high!)  To 2018 and beyond!

We All Need Someone in Our Corner: Dealing With Doctors

14 Thursday Dec 2017

Posted by in caregivers, mental illness, relationships, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized

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At several different times in my life, I have worked with the elderly. Twice I have worked in nursing homes and once I worked in a full-service retirement community (independent living, skilled living, and nursing home). One of the things I heard from staff in all of those places was the difference it made in care if family members visited and were involved. It seems that if the family is present in people’s lives while they are receiving care and treatment, then the care they receive will be more personal, more attentive and just overall better. It is hard to say, why exactly this scenario exists, but it does seem to exist.

I think the same is true for people with a severe mental illness both inside and outside of institutions. When I have spent time in a psych ward, I have always had family visit, and for the most part, I have been treated fairly well (I have a few disturbing stories, but not many). Outside of psych wards, though, I always bring my husband with me to various doctors appointments, and I think it makes a huge difference.

I went to the emergency room twice in 2017, and the doctors and nurses all knew I had schizophrenia. I always tell doctors (dentists, too) that I have schizophrenia when they are treating me. I tell them this because I am terrified of medical professionals and I want them to show me some level of patience and compassion. The stigma involved in a diagnosis of schizophrenia is real, though and many medical professionals have their own biases toward the illness.

One doctor in the E.R. asked me if I take my medications. “Religiously,” I answered. He said, “Good because most of the people I see with schizophrenia don’t.” I can’t blame the E.R. doctors in Southern California for being a little hesitant about people with a severe mental illness because they are on the front lines of medical care for the homeless (many of who are mentally ill and are without treatment).

I went to the cancer center yesterday to have my diagnostic mammogram (I won’t write the whole ordeal of this again, but I will say in the past year, I have had three mammograms, several ultrasounds, two biopsies, and an MRI). I had a fourteen-centimeter mass in my right breast. I am happy to report that the mass has completely disappeared from view on the mammogram and the last test I have to have (if I get the all clear) is an MRI in February. Anyway, the doctor who sees me at the cancer center came out and asked about my husband, and told me to tell him hello. She remembers that I always bring my husband to my appointments and the first time I saw her and told her I have schizophrenia, she allowed my husband in the room for all my tests.

The doctors at the cancer center and all of the doctors that I have to see are so kind and patient with me, and it makes a huge difference in how I respond and feel about medical treatment.

I wish everyone with a severe mental illness could have an advocate to go to the doctor with them. Not everyone can express how uncomfortable and frightening visiting doctors can be. Even drawing blood which is common for those of us on antipsychotics can be frightening to some people.  We all need someone on our side and on our team, and my experience tells me that having someone in our corner makes a huge difference in how we are treated and the type of care we receive.

Thoughts For The Day

06 Sunday Mar 2016

Posted by in Uncategorized, writing

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I am thinking about a couple of things today.

Physical health:

I am sick and when I am sick it is hard to focus on anything but the feeling of being sick. On days like this, it is easy to feel grateful for all the days that may not go the way you wanted them to but at least you were or are physically well.

 

Relationships:

It is easy to take people who you see every day for granted. It is easy to assume they will always be there and always feel the same way about you as they do today. Last night for the first time in my almost eighteen years of marriage it occurred to me that it is possible for my husband to fall out of love with me. Many times I have thought about the possibility of something happening to him, but this was the first time I thought that maybe there would be a time when he would discover that he wanted to be alone or with someone else.  The thought of it broke my heart, but it did something else, too. It made me realize to pay close attention to the things my husband says, to listen when he talks, to care about the things he cares about, and to try and create long-term dreams together that we can both see ourselves in the future together.

My thoughts are not new or original, but something to think about on a Sunday afternoon that might give you an idea that makes you feel more gratitude, create more dreams, or be more loving and attentive to the people in your life.  These things are all good to consider this day or any other.