Tag Archives: spirit

Going from the Status Quo to Pro

02 Wednesday Jan 2019

Posted by in bipolar, caregivers, hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized

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I know I said I wasn’t going to make resolutions but to be completely transparent I spent three weeks before the New Year making them. Every other year, I have scratched a list out on New Year’s Eve, tossed it in a notebook and then dug it out late December to discover I hadn’t done a single thing on the list (or maybe, I had done one or two if I was lucky).

This year, I was fascinated by the process. I even started some of the resolutions as soon as I made them. For instance, I have been stretching (some would call it doing yoga) for twenty-five minutes every morning for two weeks now. I have also been walking forty minutes five days a week for a couple of weeks.

The thing I realized about all of my resolutions, is that they are all about trying to keep me healthy in mind, body, spirit. The other thing I realized, thanks to one of my guided journals, is that they are not a drag or punishment at all. They are a privilege. I don’t “have to” stretch every morning. I am healthy enough to “get to” stretch every morning. I don’t “have to” walk five times a week, I am healthy enough and have enough mobility to “get to” walk five times a week. The same is true of all my resolutions even the ones I set about writing and reading (I don’t get to read and write when I am experiencing psychosis).

Changing these two small words, “have to” to “get to” makes the difference in my attitude. It makes working on my resolutions a joy,  an accomplishment, a privilege,  an adventure. Unlike years before, I don’t see my list as a bunch of things I “should do” I see them as a bunch of things I “want to do.”

I have started to use the same language for my chores and other things I find difficult or not necessarily pleasant. I don’t “have to” do the dishes, I “get to” do the dishes because I am well enough to see that they need cleaning.

I know many of you struggle with your mental health in one way or another, and I know it isn’t always possible to talk yourself into a shower or to get out of bed. (Oh how I know these things), but on the days that you are functioning enough to try a task or two, try changing the two words, “have to” to “get to.”

I hope changing these words will change your perspective and help you accomplish new and better things. I have high hopes for 2019, and I think two simple words are going to help me make it a great year instead of just the status quo.

Focus On Retail Workers

14 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by in Uncategorized

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Today I will be making snowman cupcakes, brownies shaped like Christmas trees, reindeer cookies, and star and angel shaped mints. The ingredients for these holiday treats are just a few of the things my husband and I have purchased lately. We also bought craft supplies to make 16 coworkers holiday gifts (just something small), stocking stuffers for each other and for my parents, and ingredients for my husband to make his annual 100 mini loaves of banana bread for the homeless. Of course while we were out, we picked up a few things for the house and for ourselves.

That is a lot of shopping. I think it is accurate to say that is at least 10 times more shopping than we do most other months of the year. During this time of year, when I am checking out at a store, I always ask the cashier, “Are you super busy today?” Of course, they almost always say, “Yes.” Then I ask them, “Are people being nice to you?”  They usually tell me that people are being nice to them. Then I say, “Because people can be rude this time of year when they are looking for sales, spending so much money, hurrying to this party or that one.” Then they usually open up and tell me about how rude and mean some customers are to them.

I know it doesn’t seem like much to remember to be nice to the people who work in shops, malls, grocery stores this time of year. But it could make a difference for someone who may be struggling with seasonal depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, autism, cancer, heart disease, diabetes, etc. This is the busiest time of year for anyone working in retail. People with retail jobs are probably working long hours, dealing with every kind of person imaginable, and they are told to keep their cool, and keep a smile on their face. It cannot be easy to provide good customer service to everyone who walks through the door. And of course one in four of them are struggling with a mental illness, and many of them have other chronic illnesses.

It is hard to get out of bed every day. It is even harder to get out of bed, get yourself ready and go to a job. It is tough to put in 4-10 hours. It gets harder still when your job is dealing with the public. It gets more difficult still, when that public can be grumpy or rude because there are longer lines than normal, gifts are expensive, shops are crowded, some items they want may sell out, they may not have the money to spend but they feel they have to.

I know it is the season of giving and people do remarkable things for one another this time of year. I know there is more generosity and kindness in the air than at any other time or season. I also believe there is some magic to be experienced. But at the same time, people can forget that wonderful spirit when they walk into a store and start shopping. I’m just asking that we remember those people who work their tails off during the holidays and extend some of the wonder to them and joy to them.

If you believe our actions send out ripples into the world then start a chain reaction of kindness, compassion, peace and love – imagine how many people retail workers see every day and how many people they can pass the ripple onto. You may be the one who starts the ripple that changes a life or lives. We have the power to make the world better, let’s use it.

The Treasure Some Have

04 Friday Sep 2015

Posted by in hope, mental illness, schizophrenia, writing

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I like the show Orange is the New Black. I binged watched the first two seasons. The third season has been out for several months now, and I haven’t finished it yet. I have lost part of my enthusiasm which happens to me with almost everything having to do with television. (I’m not a big fan of television or of movies. During my twenties and thirties, I went many years without owning a TV – popular culture isn’t really my thing.)

But the television show led me to the book, and while I have been doing my daily exercises, I have been reading the memoir that Orange is the New Black is based on. The book is not nearly as dramatic as the television show, but I like the book, and I noticed something noteworthy in it today, and it is something I have heard from other people, seen in movies, and read in books – even in the worst places, the human spirit can thrive if you have a spark in your spirit. Or maybe the reality is when all the busyness and distractions, and social media, and television, and noise of our daily lives are taken away, we can see beauty. Or maybe, it is when we are surrounded by the negative and the ugly our soul easily finds pleasure and beauty in simple things.

I can’t find the words to write down the exact message/experience, but the narrator in the book is in prison and she find such joy, pleasure, and beauty in such simple things, like listening to a college radio station, eating a root beer float, and jogging.

Her experience reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Shawshank Redemption. In the movie, the main character, Andy, holds freedom and beauty in his heart and mind and is always looking for ways to express that freedom and beauty to the other prisoners by using things like books and music. It is a theme that runs through many fictitious and true stories.

That freedom of the human spirit, that ability to find beauty in some of the ugliest places, and in the worst circumstances is a true gift but I don’t think everyone has it. There are only some people who can be locked up, or become terminally ill or live in extreme hardship and still look for and experience beauty.

I think it is that ability, that little spark inside, that little glimmer of hope, that little slice of magic, that breath of true life, however small it is, that connects my husband and me.

I don’t ever want to romanticize mental illness, and if I could choose not to have schizophrenia, I would definitely choose to live without it, but there are things that have happened, that my husband and I have experienced together, that came about because of my illness, where we found that small space of beauty among tragedy.

Mental illness is a tragedy, and it robs so many young people of their full potential, but the fact is many of us have to live with it every day. We don’t have a choice, so we have to make the best of it. And certainly there are parts of it that are terrible, and ugly, and then there are parts where a small slice of heaven shines through.

My husband and I have seen those warm and magnificent rays and we have rejoiced because to be alive is a miracle, and that miracle can be expressed even in a disease like schizophrenia.